I had meeting at the Board of Education this morning to try and push for a teacher in-service to educate teachers and staff about mental health and how to address it. The committee that was at the meeting was impressed with what I presented. In fact, the new special ed director heard the person I was presenting to the group speak last spring and said she was very impressed with her. Unfortunately, now I find out that it all boils down to whether the principal can work it into the schedule or not. Surprise! Surprise! He wasn't there at the meeting. I will also be surprised if this goes through because it's ultimately left up to him. He is such a control freak and anyone who has any dealings with him knows that - myself included. I have no respect for this man. He puts on a great show - so caring etc- and I bought into it until I had asked for some things for the school and this was one of them. I had asked him a long time ago about instituting this very thing and all he did was brush me off telling me the decision wasn't up to him. What an ass. Now I know for sure he was not telling me the truth. What a coward. I don't understand him. Why is something like mental health education for the teachers such a problem? One of the things they are addressing at the in-service is motivation or lack there of. Excuse me but --- how can one be motivated when they are depressed? Hello? I kinda think it ties in pretty neatly. Ass. Well --- having said all that - maybe he will do it. The decision hasn't been made yet. Maybe he will surprise me....but I doubt it.Can ya tell that I'm in a mood? Not a good one......sorry folks. Reason: Although the meeting with the lawyer appeared to go well.......I just knew it wasn't going to work magic - but it was wishful thinking. T told the lawyer all that she wanted to hear and then when we all left her office he reverted back to his new old self. I spoke with her a tiny bit after she met with T and she said she didn't think my son had a drug problem! Why, because he said he isn't using? Since when does one take the word of a druggie? And how does she explain all the recent charges against him? Okay - if he doesn't have a "drug problem" than how the heck does she explain this bizarre behavior? Is he emotionally unstable? I am not sure about this lady. Guess I should have asked how knowledgeable she is about addiction. How many cases has she handled? She doesn't get it. She only met with him for about 15 minutes - how can she make a statement like that? Should we just skip the drug assessment and just take her word for it? Naturally, I don't know for sure what he's doing or not doing but a comment like that doesn't help. In her defense......he's a smooth talker and can con even the best of them. She still should know better. So now I have a son who may not return tonight. He is pissed at me. I told him I refuse to take anymore abuse from him (not physical) and things were going to change around here. I will admit .....I also told him to leave. I told him I didn't want him around anymore. I was at my breaking point and now I am so sorry I said that. He was hurt and cried and made plans to leave - after he threw a stool and a light bulb. I pushed him so that he would do something bad enough for me to call the police. I then could get him taken to an emergency room and from there .......hopefully get him admitted somewhere. Our friend, the emergency rm, doctor said he admitted kids and adults like our son just about every day. Maybe he does have some kind of mental problem and then he could be looked at...... Who knows...... I talked to Kevin and he said that next time T has a "fit" call 911 right away. It has to be addressed then.
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It is really terrible you have to resort to this!
And about the school.. that system can be even more complicated and illogical. First of all, teachers cannot \"diagnose\" anything. I cannot say anything at all like, \"my student lacks motivation as a result of depression..\" I mean, we cannot even hint at it. It has to be clinically documented. Does your school have some kind of crisis counselor? I taught in disadvantaged school. If I suspected something, I had to refer to her, but without anything that looked like diagnosis. That person could discuss things like _POSSIBLE_ depression with parents.. It is very complicated and a mess, but you need at least one of those counselors. Most teachers attend those meetings because they need credits towards their required professional development. Don\'t misunderstand... Most teachers care about mental health of students, it is just that we really cannot do much except make a referral.. (Excuse me for making it sound like I am still teaching.. I quit to care for my mom, then took retirement in NJ. I may still do some teaching in PA... ) Best to you with all of this!!
What an unbelievable day you have had, I am so sorry!
You bring up a good point about the lawyer, is she qualified to make an arm chair diagnosis; what experience does she have not only to make a statement like but also drug court experience. It\'s your money and quite a bit of it I would guess....?! Do you want to talk to her more directly about this?
I find it very revealing that your friend in the ER has told you that your situation is like so many he sees in the local ER. Like you I am still wondering how much is drug use and what part of this might be a mental illness....Why? Because there seems to be a cycle (although pretty rapid) of good days and bad days. Things escalate and then \"chill\". I don\'t know if you could look at your journal again and graph/make a chart of this and see if there is anything to this....??? This type of document could also build your case for an involuntary psych admission and evaluation. Just an observation from afar...The advice about contacting the police in the middle of an incident ASAP is consistent with what I know...the question is can you ask the police to take him to the psych ward instead of juvenile? What is your husband\'s position on this. These are questions to consider, not reply to.....
Olelady\'s experience is consistent with what I know here as well. However, it can be very valuable information (in service on mental health) because teachers need to know the signs and symptoms in order to document the \"right stuff\" for the referral for an evaluation; only when it is interfering with their ability to learn and function at school. Another tactic might be to present this to the clinical psychologists that work at the school and get them behind you as well. Further schools have a memorandum to participate in this kind of education and training. How would this be for a parent training on a PTA night?
Finally, you are under enormous pressure and it is completely understandable that you said something in anger/frustration that you regret. We all have at one point in our children\'s lives. I am thinking of you and hoping that you get some support for everyone very soon!