I know I can't give up on my son but I'm getting to the point -- I'm just so beaten down right now.  I know the situation with the addiction is not our fault - however.....I think we laid the ground work for his attitude.  He won't take any responsibility for his bad behavior and blames everything on us.  No matter what it is.  Then he says he'll cooperate IF we turn his phone back on, not complain and "bitch" at us every time he comes home late or not at all, AND IF we let him have a RAVE party!  WHAT?  We have a monster on our hands and I don't know how to get through to him.  I just talked to a lawyer and explained our situation and by the sounds of it -- because of T's attitude - he is going to be screwed BIG TIME!  He said the juvenile judges are waiting for a spoiled, white kid with supportive, loving parents, from a pristine little suburb to put away.  Understandably, they are tired of having to put kids in jail without any support - loving or financial.  So......it isn't looking good.  Wish I could get through to him.  He refuses to talk to the lawyer, too.  Oh well......guess he's going to learn a long, hard lesson.   I was so upset with him that I told him that he will be sent to the juvenile detention.  I am tired of him.  I had to tell him what the reality was.   And the system.......the lawyer I talked to knows our juvenile detective and said that's he's lazy.  That is an understatement.  I think he's incompetent, too.  He also seems to be giving me the run around.  Funny - I just talked to the detective.  I just called the police department - not expecting him to answer the phone.....and he was the dispatcher!  It threw me off, I tell you.  I called and asked him why he didn't file some of the extra charges my son did and I also wanted copies of all the records of curfew and unruliness.  I am going to hand deliver them myself to the intake person and file an official unruly.  The detective did not tell me I could do that.  He doesn't tell me anything.  I had to learn from someone down at juvenile.  I had asked him about it before and he gave me the wrong information.  What a loser.  Even with all this imcompetence and laziness -- I don't know what is wrong with me that I don't dislike him.  I'm sure he doesn't care for me very much.  You'd think he'd want me to get out of his hair and do what he's supposed to -- so I won't bother him.  Sigh.............this is exhausting.  Just wish my husband would help me.  I know he's at work but.........when I was at work I managed to get phone calls in and make appointments.  He's so laid back about things like this.  It drives me crazy sometimes.......