Well - T-Man is home from school - again. I've tried to get him up but he says he's too exhausted to go to school. I didn't call the school yet. They will eventually call me and I really don't know what to say. I've called in truant before and he got very mad at me. He told me he was sick and it should have been an excused absence. "Sick" from staying up too late and not taking care of himself. Even though all the bad stuff that has been happening in his life, and the one that caused these events, he blames me. How dare I call the police or the school....... It's frustrating because - although he needs to be held accountable for his actions, he also needs help. He preceives me as the enemy. Taking his cell phone away, in his eyes, is not a consequence but a punishment no matter how many times we've presented it to him. When will things start to get better? Right now I wait, again. This time for the plastic surgeon to call back. His surgery might be scheduled for today after all. They will have to give him a blood test to find out if there are any drugs in his system to make sure there will not be any interactions. Truth be told, I'm not sure they're going to find anything. Even though his behavior - staying out all night - tells us he's doing something.....his conversations on line do not indicate that. ** T refuses surgery. I made all the arrangements and........he decided to skip it. Whatever.No matter whether he's addicted/abusing or not, he needs some kind of help. I am not so sure anymore he needs residential. He refuses to go for an assessment until it's ordered by the court. Speaking of court, I am going to call down there to see what is going on. I called on Friday and talked to a very nice person who repeatedly told me to call on Monday. Haven't yet because the person who is handling all the paperwork has been out all last week. I don't want to bombard her, if she even returned today. She was out because of a family emergency. Oh......T did go to school after all. I offered him McDonalds before taking him to school and he added he would go IF I bought a pack of cigarettes for him. I did. Is this enabling - allowing him to manipulate me like this? Probably.
Replies
I can feel your frustration. You are such a great mom for sticking through all this! Enabling?....You\'re doing what you gotta do!
hey hun big hug. you are a fantastic mother , dont ever forget that my friend.x.x.x
Oy Vey! Sometimes you just do what you gotta do until something better allows itself to be found.. :o)
Certainly cigarettes are the lesser of the evils, its not mind altering (and you can recover from the effects when you quit) and it\'s a win-win for you; while he is at school, you have a time when he is somebody else\'s responsibility! Hope the rest of your day went smoothly!!!!
I also wish the line was much clearer - what is enabling and what is just a mother\'s eternal love? I have found the anxiety and worry was driving me crazy too. It\'s strange but once I recognized how much she was manipulating me, I found some peace knowing I can only control my behavior - not hers.