This journaling (if there is such a word) is helping to keep my head above water.  Actually, considering all that been going on lately......I am not feeling as helpless and depressed as I had been feeling.  One of the reasons my heart isn't feeling as heavy as it had been, is I stopped at a church (not mine) on one of my errands and asked the minister if he would mind posting a sign and displaying some brochures on the suicide prevention Walk I've been working on.... at his church.  He was fine with it and then I started talking to him about the Walk and next thing I know I am sharing with him about my son's  situation.  Actually I balled - broke down.  We prayed together and I tell you....all the times I have prayed, on my own, didn't seem to help.  This time - praying with him helped a great deal.  I can't explain it but even though more things (like the fight) have happened since yesterday - late afternoon, I feel stronger.  Even though I still cry over this situation....I don't have the deep pit in my stomach like I did before.  Some of the burden has lifted - actually....a lot of it has.....  The power of prayer..... Had to skip the meeting with the PO this morning and take T-Man to the plastic surgeon to look at his nose instead.  The surgeon is the one who operated on his nose this summer, due to the soccer accident.  And the doctor did such a great job getting his nose straight - oh well.  In the middle of all this - while at the plastic surgeon's office - I found myself trying to  recruite him to play on our adult coed soccer team  - because in the past he mentioned he may be interested in joining our team.  He is recovering himself from a leg injury but would love to play on our team once he's completely healed.  It was funny to see his eyes light up at the thought of playing again! After the doctor looked at him he  told me to take T-Man to the emergency room and get a CAT scan to see, not only to see if the nose is broken, but if his cheek bone is broken too.  We arrived at the emergency room and waited a total of 3 hours.   We did find out it's "just" the nose that is broken and nothing else during our visit, however.  Looks like surgery next week. - means more missed school!  DARN!  Could have been worse, I suppose.  While I was there, I took the nurse aside,  I did told her that T-Man's injury is due to a fight and not a bike accident he's been telling them.  I told them I am not absolutely sure but I am only telling them what  I think and what I've heard from other sources.  Because I did tell them, and the fact the staff guessed that the injury was probably from a figh, by law I ,or they, would have to file a police report.  Great.  I hope it doesn't jeopardize his chance of getting into drug court!  They don't except "violent" teens into the program.  Hopefully, it won't be an issue.  We are going to meet the PO (even though T is not assigned to yet to him) at school on Thursday.  I thought school would be a great place to meet because there is no guarantee T-Man would be home if the PO picks a time at our home to talk to him...