Yesterday I returned an i-Home to the police. It was one of the stolen items T-Man took from one of his friends' homes. I really like, Kevin, the detective. He's been great! He said he's going to put what I returned on hold - charges and such until later. We are dealing with a lot of other crap right now and we need to focus on that. He also called the juvenile probation officer. Even though T-Man hasn't been assigned one (still waiting for the court date to do that) he told me that we can get started on the paperwork if drug court is where our son is heading. It was very nice of him to do that. I have this fellow's desk and cell phone #. Unfortunately, he is an extremely busy guy....because both the detective and the vice principal at the high school have been trying to get a hold of him (phone tag) for days for us. So.....one step in the right direction.Also yesterday the assistant principal called me on my cell. Although I had my phone with me...where I was you can't get good cell phone reception so I didn't get the message until 45 minutes or so later. Well........it's a good thing I did lose my job (at least in this instance) because T-Man now is suspended from school for 3 days. He got caught smoking in a ceiling rafter in the high school auditorium! The v. principal was concerned about him because, after T-Man learned he was suspended....he took off and left school. The v. principal was afraid he ran away. I probably should have reminded him that someone who uses drugs like my son......doesn't care about things like suspensions. He hates school right now and doesn't do work anyway. I am the one that cares because I am going to be stuck with him for 3 days (I didn't say that to the v.p). And T Man has no remorse anyway. Accept for the items he returned to our friend that he took from.....he doesn't care about how his actions affect other people too. I wonder when the cloud lifts......he will have any reflections on what he's done and how he's hurt people. According to him.....every bad thing that he does is someone else's fault. At least that is what he says when he's caught doing something bad. Oh....last night T-Man, 16 years old, came home at 2:45 AM. He's been hanging around a 19 year old who has a bad reputation in the community. No wonder I am tired all the time!
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oh no hun really feel for you i understand why you are so tired, i hope he does show remorse for his actions. just hope everything comes togeather for you soon. wish there was some way i could help you, but as yet not been in same circumstances. ( hopefully wont but dont walk around blinkered to the drug craze)its out there and im worried for my boys! just know i think you are a fantastic mother who any one would be proud of, and your are inspiring hun. here any time for you my friend.x.x.x
Smoking in the rafters....more sensation seeking!?!! You are lucky they didn\'t just expel him - !
Get some reinforcements for the next 3 days! Do you have someone you can have coffee with, soccer, etc? Do you have a sponsor or mentor with al-anon that you could get in touch with? Do you have a house related project you could work on -- feel productive and get that item crossed off you to-do list (organize closets, clean the garage)? How about some tag team parenting - get your husband to wait up on one of those nights (I say this because my husband has NO difficulty sleeping, even under stress - LOL!)
The 19 year old is a concern, not just the influence over/on your son, but also not wanting him in the house - EVER! If you have an alarm system, can you change the codes often....? Can you get some type of restraining order so that if he were to show up you can ask him to leave and get back up for this as needed? I am concerned for your personal safety.......I don\'t mean for this to be \"catastrophic\" thinking or adding to your worry load...rather a practical proactive matter to think about now rather than in the moment.....a safety valve or back door so to speak.
I hoping that the 3 days go smoothly and that there is a loving moment -- a chance to kick the soccer ball together, reminiscence about a happy event, or even a visit together to the boys at college. Be good to yourself and stay well!
I never understood that about schools. When kids do something bad, they get kicked out for a while. Isn\'t that what they want? Having a 3 day vacation certainly doesn\'t teach them anything. They should have a special classroom where they have to go for 3 days and do extra work!
oh I agree! My husband and I just saw the very end of the old movie The Breakfast Club where the kids were in an all day detention in school. To me that makes more sense.....