I am not feeling very well.   Sinus,  pounding headache, and I just feel like......(well....you get the picture). Well.....went to school for T-Man's I.E.P meeting.  The first teacher went on to list all the work our son hasn't been doing in class, including homework.  I stopped her in mid-sentence and told all of them the situation with our son.  They sympathized and said they will do whatever they can to help.  One of them said they didn't want to see him fail.  She's known him when he was in middle school on the cross-country team....* back in the HAPPY DAYS.   When we got home from the school meeting.... guess who didn't end up going to school because he wasn't feeling well?  He felt well enough and brazen enough to smoke a cigarette in front of me, however.  T-Man finds every possible way to be mad at us (making things our fault) so that he is justified in breaking rules and doing what he wants.  He's angry because I FINALLY  turned off his phone and he also discovered that we put a tracking device on the computer.  So he is now king of the mountain and thinks he can do whatever he wants.  Hubby and I have to come up with some kind of plan because we are now at the next level.  Problem is.....what will the plan be?  We can't kick him out, we can't put him in rehab, or jail  or juvie or anything.   I know I've said this before about it being so surreal but it is!  Last year at this time I never would have pictured him smoking let alone.....in front of me!   The detective called.  I've been pushing to get the paperwork through in hopes of getting a court date.  He's tried helping along with a long list of people.  Talked to most of them and the answer is.......no one can help.  One said it can take 1 to 4 months!  It's been about a month and a half so far since the last arrest.....    Oh....the reason the detective called is he said there has been a rash of burglaries around our area and because he knows my son's desperation to obtain $ T-Man is thought to be a suspect.  The detective said, along with some other items,  some IPODS were stolen. The police don't have anything concrete but asked if I saw anything around the house.  I did but I don't know if the IPODS are the same ones.  He also asked if he could search our house and I told him no.  My son had these things out in the open so I know they're not hidden anywhere.  I told the detective  I would look and if I find anything I'd let him know.  I didn't find on thing but I told the detective that my son could have it on him right now. Well......wish I could go to bed but I have to go up to the high school tonight to run the Suicide Prevention Education Alliance booth.  "We" will be collecting funds from the incoming football fans to raise $ for the high school for the Walk they are participating in.  I feel like crap and don't feel like doing this....... The teacher advisor won't be there nor will any students.  I am most frustrated with the teacher.  She needs to help me more to get volunteers.......   I hope SOME students show up to help because it's supposed to be their thing not mine.  I hope we do well anyway.  Our school is ranked # ONE in fundraising efforts against all the other schools.  Unfortunately......I did 99% of the work.  I don't mind the work because i don't think of it as such but this is supposed to be kid generated.....