It's my birthday and I can cry if I want to..........  Actually,  I am not going to cry.  Since this situation has become a new norm for me, it's actually easier to deal with.  Pretty sad, huh?

 It is a beautiful day today.  The sun is out and bright and I  am going to have a good day, I can feel it.  It's the power of positive thinking.  Despite the fact that my son is not doing well, I am keeping in mind that I keep the faithe and to be aware that there is a lot to be thankful for.  I'm thankful for my husband's support and strength.  I am thankful for my best friend whose there for me whenever I need her.  For my new friend who got me touch with all the best people in the field.  For the detective whose been sensitive and caring.  For the drug counselor who has been so understanding and there for me whenever I needed her.  I am thankful for the top drug director at our county office who met with us for two hours  on his own time and for the names he's given us.  For the police.  I'm thankful for the drug court coordinator who made some phone calls for me to try and get the records.  I'm thankful for the public defender "person" who is going to talk to my husband today to let us know what to expect.  For my extended family....my sisters, both sets of parents, etc..  for their support.  For my oldest son who sent my birthday present by mail from the camp he's volunteering from!  And from all of you.....for putting up with my sorry stories and frustrations.  And especially for God.  He's been there guiding me....connecting me to the right places and people.  Unfortunately, I haven't been able to connect with him as much as I would like.  I will admit I've been feeling a little numb and not relying on him like I should ...yet.....I realize for the little praying I've done.....he's been answering my prayers day by day.  So......today I decided to count my blessings.........because there are a lot of them!

 Thank you to all of you!