We all have to wait until Monday when the detective comes back from his vacation; class -- whatever the reason he was gone. I spoke with the coodinator at drug court and she said all the records are still tied up at our police station. That can only mean the the juvenile court didn't even receive the paperwork yet! Yikes! Ya know..... I really like this detective and he's been very good about helping us but this is insane. Here we are scared out of our wits --- reporting, calling -- doing whatever we can to get this thing rolling and it's crap like this that makes it all the more difficult! Funny....but school starts in less than a week and a half. And what the heck are we going to do? We cannot send him to school. That wouldn't make sense. He's not well. I hope we can get him into a inpatient rehab by then. I know he will end up in one eventually. Guess my husband and I are going to be empty nesters sooner than we thought...(well -- at least-- temporarily). With the other two going off to college....at least we can concentrate on our baby. Never in my wildest dreams did I imagine we would EVER be in a position such as this. It isn't like he's been a problem child. I know, I know.....addiction can happened to anyone who has a predisposition to it, but still.
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hi hun, it is so insane! hang in there it will come togeather for you!you are doing everything in your power to get your son the help he needs, that makes you a true mom! respect to you!.x.x.x
Just a couple of thoughts/questions from a different perspective.....for you to consider.
School might be a good place for him. You\'ve got a lot more people watching him; if he cuts school then school can make a police call for truancy; if he is clearly on drugs they can also make the call either to the police or the hospital. At least at school there is some routine and he is not joined at the hip to the group of users he\'s been with over the summer.
You may want to contact the counselors at school to let them know there are family issues...I would be sure that they are subject to confidentiality laws (i.e. licensed counselors)? You will also want to start working on understanding your/his RIGHTS relative to any accommodations (ARD process) following in-patient treatment. For example, are you going to need some type of additional checks on assignments, the psychologist to see him weekly, accommodations for sleeping in class due to medications changes.... Getting the school to acknowledge his needs/issues is important if there are zero tolerance consequences for drugs and/or behavior and he might be subject to an alternative school. I don\'t know enough about this to have any real specifics only that you can expect resistance from the school and that you should expect the treatment center to include school issues as part of their discharge plan.
I realize that you\'re venting here may be just that....So, at the risk of stating the obvious, a gentle reminder -- it is difficult not to lump the individual with the system.....try not to let your VALID frustrations about the system spill over and become personal with the detective. He and other helping professionals (who are any good) need a time out (training, vacation, private life) in order to be effective and not burn out. I bring this up from both professional and personal experience (been on both sides of this issue...!)
On a lighter note, I am here to tell you that the empty nest is terrific! Seven months of no teens in the house (overseas in different countries for academic exchange program) has been a breath of fresh air for our marriage and social life. Within the week, we resume face-to-face parenting of 2 teenage boys who will, no doubt, chafe at being at the parents house...among many issues. I love them , but honestly I look forward to the spring semester when they head off to college!
I share this empty nest experience with you in hopes that during this difficult time, the prospect of hospitalization for your son has a silver lining for you....that the time apart provides you with a real respite and gives you a chance to recharge!
Until then, my thoughts are with you. Take time to be good to yourself.