I screwed up. Yesterday was my youngest 16th birthday. I gave him a few gift certificates....which didn't come close to the cash amount he's used to receiving. I didn't want to give him cash because of my concern over his pot smoking. I don't even know if he's even doing it. I am only guessing. I told him he could order clothes on line (which he liked to do) but he said he always gets money and gifts. He was so upset with me ....he went into the living room leaned back in a chair and broke our front window. He was so hurt.....he took off telling me that he wasn't going to come home tonight. He didn't. I don't even know what to do anymore. Ever since my husband "got on the same page as me" ---supporting me ...turning off his phone and putting restrictions on his computer time.....my son has been extremely emotional. I don't know if it's because of the restrictions or not. He flies off the handle, cries, sulks........ I don't know if he's depressed or what. We've only met with the counselor once. I am not impressed with him, so far. I will give him a chance. He seemed distracted.....looking at his clock...etc. I know he was taking notes trying to get it all in but.....I was hoping for more direction......something to work on. The only thing he said is that my husband and I have to be on the same page.....which we know. Tonight my husband is having over 30 people over for a cook-out and meeting. He is president of our town soccer board. I have to work today, pack, and get my head together. We are supposed to be leaving tomorrow for my parent's big celebration, followed by the trip to Canada. Plus we have to get our son back. And fix the front window before we leave. Are we having fun..yet? Sorry for such a downer. I don't know if this journaling is really helping or not. Sometimes writing things down that bother you, helps. Sometimes dwelling on them makes it worse. Time will tell. Off to work........
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Your son is going thru emotional times right now and is probably not used to having a \"united front\". I know this really sent my daughter over the edge more than once. I think the gift certificates were a wonderful idea. The kids right now ARE suffering from growing pains...sometimes they are just the child we remember and sometimes they are trying to be adult. Remember the book \"Yes, Your Teen Is Crazy\"...maybe WE need a refresher course. You did NOT SCREW UP. You are a wonderful lovig mother who is genuinely concerned. The only thing I really had problems with was taking away my daughters phone...that was my only lifeline with her when she \"jumped ship\". I truly believe that journaling helps us in these situations...don\'t stop...and definetly message me if you need me...I\'ll be here...If we don\'t talk before your trip...ENJOY...
Don\'t be sorry! Writing can help ease the tension - once you get your feelings out you can move on to facts and solutions! I also valued the advice in the book Yes Your Teen Is Crazy. Did you notice that the home page for DS has a video about advice for finding a therapist from the mental health advisers....perhaps this will be useful if you have to look for another one. For the future, maybe you and your son need to have an \"escape\" plan when things get really emotional. Is there an approved family setting where your son can go to regain self control; something prearranged? I have on occasion taken in a friend\'s daughter when they both needed a break from each other; we are on different coasts so that it was a viewed as a positive break rather than a punishment/consequence. There are several of us with teen boys and we have we have swapped out our kids a weekend; it seemed to be just enough time to get a respite.....they tend to be on their best behavior at the other family\'s house (LOL, something is going right!) I hope you are able to take your trip as a family and that the change of scenery gives everyone a break! Take Care