It's way too early in the day for me to be writing in my journal.  It's almost 5pm in Texas.  Normally, I don't write till late in the evening or night.  But, today's been a lousy day.  The day's not over, but I can't see any improvement on the horizon.  I've been tired.  Like all my energy was spent before I got up this morning.  Stomach's upset.  Haven't really been hungry, but I ate.  Before I was disgnosed with type 2, I just blew it off as my work schedule.  An extra odd shift already this week.  Those of you who have followed me since I've been here, have heard me talk of transitions for my work schedule.  Maybe I've talked too much about it.  But, you have to realize this schedule is just the latest in the schedules I've had in the last year and a half.  Before getting this new position, I went to work at 5am and got off at 2pm.  In a year's time, various schedule changes changed my schedule by 12 hours where now, I work 5pm-4am.  I'm not young anymore.  The times of easily adapting are gone.  In my younger years, as news director at a radio station, I worked from 3:30am-5pm and if a story needed covering after that, I did it.  Sometimes not getting home till 10 o'clock at night.  But those days are gone.  I'm in my early 60's now and the body and mind can't take it anymore.  I'm the oldest in this department by a good 13 years.  My boss is 23 years old.  I could almost be his grandfather!  Transitioning from a 1pm-midnight shft to a 5pm-4am is hard.  Especially coming off 3 days off where I try to keep "normal" hours.  Then, you pitch in an extra 1pm-midnight shift with a day off in between, and it's really hard.  My doctor says it's crazy.  No argument from me.  She wants me to quit or her send a letter to my boss telling him it's killing me.  I told her I'd talked to my boss about it without prospects of change.   And, I told her if she could find me a job with the same salary or better and a benefits package as good or better than I have now, I'd quit.  Fat chance!  Nobody wants to hire a man my age with my health problems.  And I don't blame them.  But now, something else has been thrown into the mix, diabetes.  I have to wonder if the lack of energy and feeling lousy is caused by the diabetes.  And if so, what am I doing wrong.  I've always pushed my body and mind.  It was a challenge, as a fat guy, to do as much or more as the "normal" size people.  Fat people have to do more so the "normals" will accept them and not put them down.  Some of you know what I mean.  But, can I, still, push my body like I used to before diabetes?  If not, why not?  You know my history, bypass surgery, depression, COPD, etc.  All of which I've overcome.  But what do I have to overcome, now?  Diabetes or my job?  Or both?  Plop lonelyness beside all that and you've got a bitter stew.  A stew I'd rather not taste, much less consume.