hi
for some reason I have been feeling sad for the last two days .....I mis my dad I mis my brother ..I miss my grandchildren ...I feel lonely ..but I am not alone my h is with me ....he wanted to take me to a show today and I just dident want to deal with going out of my house ..I dident want to take a shower stayed in pjs all day ..I do have a migrain but low pain .......I think tomorow I am just going to have to get up and take a shower and go to the movies ..to keep my h from being bord ...lol ...and I think it will do me good ......if I can get out of her befor this sadness has a chance to take hold ...it seames to be stronget at night ....don't realy know what is going on with my self .....ware does this sadness come from ...I just want to cry ....I don't tell my h .....I love him to much to burden him everytime I get sad ...since I don't even know what I am sad about and I don't know how to help my self except ...to get up the next morning ..and get somthing done the next day ....so that I am moving in a forward motion ...not siting still doing nothing ..getting no ware ....I have to feel that I have moved forward each day ....no mater how small ..a step I have taken so long as it is forward .......that helpes ........but there is somthing so strong trying always to pull me backwards .......I think I get tired of the fight ..and stop to take a rest ....I don't think that is doing me any good ....maby just take smaller steps ...when I get tired .......I don't know if I am making sence to anyone ...I know the path I want to take ...I am not sure how to ..accomplish that ..to get further on that path ...it is very slow going ....my brother rote a poem ....it is amasing I am going to ask him if I can shair it ...if he is ok with it I will put it here .....I think I need to call my brother .....thankyou for lisining to me ...I value each and every one of you ...my friends ....you hold me up ...when I can't hold my self up ....for that I thank you .....take care ..God bless
Replies
I hope you feel better soon/ fast. Your to special to be sad.
I know the feelings about wanting to do things with husband. I do the Sam. At times ( most times) I don\'t want to go to movies or lunch and other things. Yet I do to please him. When I get home I feel I did good and can be lazy, haha.
Please know I\'m here if you need to talk.
Soothing hugs.
J
Musk I understand what you are saying. The short days I think require extra effort to keep our spirits up and our depression down. I haves followed your journals and see where you have gotten out to lunch with daughter and gone into town to visit a friend. You are trying crosstiching. Night time is always the worse. I turn on every light in the house and even light some candles. I use bright table clothes and and colorful dishes. I have mirrors opposite lamps that reflect off the light. I don\'t believe our brains are meant to spend this much time in darkness. When the sun goes down so early it affects our body rhythm.
I am in here also and only a PM away. I know you are tired but please know I am thinking of you each day and you are close to my heart. It is good to just hear from you even if we don\'t solve world problems. I love seeing your journals.
I do hope you brother will give you permission to share his poem. It sounds interesting and thoughtful.
janiecf .......it is refreshing to be understood so well .and to know I am not the only one ...but I hope you get better .very soon to ...I feel the same way I can be lazy after I come home after going out with my h when I dident realy want to go and just went for him ...but sometimes it does realy help me feel better to ...\"..........................hippyone ...........so good to here from you ...you are right night time is always worse .and when my h is gone for the weakend it is unbearable ....I have to go and stay at one of my children\'s homes than I am ok .....it is the only thing that helps .....you are right about our bodies needing more light ..sunlight is the best but the lights they have that have the full spectrum except the damaging ones is suposto be very good for you ....I tend to live in the dark ...lol ...there have been many studies about the sun and night and our built in BODIE clock .and how they are linked ...........................................I will here from my brother this weak ......take care
The both of you ..my good friends ..thankyou for everything ..God bless
HI SIS HUGGLES,
REMEMBER THAT WE ARE SO TUNED INTO EACH OTHER THAT IFF ONE IS FEELING DOWN THE OTHER PICKS IT UP!!!, IVE BEEN VERY EMOTIONLY N PHYICALLY N MENTALLY DOWN THESE PAST FEW DAYS, N I DO BELIEVE WE BOT HAD TUNED INTO IT BUT NOT QUITE RELIZEING IT HENCE FEELING TEARFUL N LOW, WE HAVENT SPOKEN IN A WHILE WHICH ISNT RIGHT FOR EITHER OFF US AS WE ARE BOTH GOOD MEDICINE FOR EACH OTHER...
PLUS I THINK WINTER MONTHS SUCKS THOSE LIGHTS IVE HERD ARE GREAT N REALLY WORK! BUT SADLY NOT FOR ME AS IM BLIND BUT SIS ITS WORTH YOU GETTING ONE IT COULD EVEN HELP THOSE MIGRAINES OFF YOURS [ GIVE IT A TRY ] WISHED I COULD!,
I HOLD YOU SO DEAR TOO MY HEART SIS ANYONE WOULD THINK WE WERE BLOOD SIS!!! , I SEE YOU AS MY SIS A SIS I TRUST N LOVE WHOLE HEARTEDLY I LOOK UP TOO YOU N ADMIRE YOU N YOUR OWN STRENGTH!!!, LSO REMEMBER IFF WE DONT KEEP OURSELFS BUSY IN WHATEVER WAY IE CRAFTS ECT THEN THOSE SPARE TIMES PLAYS SILLY TRICKS WITH YOUR MIND N NGHTS ARE WORCE TOO MUCH THINKING ISNT ALWAYS A GOOD THING [ JUST KEEP THAT IN MIND SIS] I OTHER WORDS GET INTO YOUR PAINTING OR SEWING AT NIGHT ESPCIALLY IM PROUD OFF YOU N ALWAYS WILL BE HUGGLES N CUDDLES N GOD BLESS LOVE U FOREVER MY BEST FRIEND XO DC...
PS! I PRAY THIS HAS HELPED YOU SWEETIE;D I BE BACK ON DS TUESDAY ON N OFF KEEP WATCH WE REALLY DO NEED TO CATCH UP...
hey dear, sorry to hear that you\'re feeling so low and sad. i agree with the comments above. i keep special things in every area of my apt to lift my spirits and sometimes a good cry is all that works. i don\'t like to burden anyone else with it b/c then i feel guilt on top of it all.
i hope you can figure out somethings that work for you like hippy was suggesting, lots of light and candles help me, too.
hoping that you feel better soon, bit by bit is how it goes at times.
big hugs, serenity
actualy duck it has helped me ....because is was worst when I came on here ...so I gess you are right.....so get better ...lol ......thankyou serenity ...you are all such good friends ..I don\'t like to burden you all eather ....thankyou so much ..take care God bless
Awe I\'m sorry you miss your family. Do you all live in different states. I feel your pain with feeling sad and not having a reason. I tell my husband everything that is going on with me but then I feel like I\'m a burden even though he says I\'m not. Glad you\'re trying to stay positive and get out and do things. I had one of those just lay in bed, not shower and stay in pj\'s yesterday and I wanted to do that today but I made myself get up and go to work. I have to tell myself don\'t let your depression and anxiety control you, you control it!
my father and two sisters live across the country ...I just talked to my dad and my sisters ....I have a nother sister that lives a hour from me ....the brother I realy miss lives about 3 and a half hours away .....and I have a nother brother who loves about 45 minuets away ...my kids all live with in an hour of me but these days everyone is so bisey ...with work and both parents work ...kids go to school and have other activities after school and on the weakend ....and the older ones have there girlfriends and budies or boyfriends and girlfriends ....and I am limited to my visiting from these dam migrains ...I am very motion sick ...always ...so driving will start a migrain ..if I go to towen it won\'t be to bad but if I go to the city a hour away .i might as well stay in the city for the day because ..by the time I get home I will be finished ...with a bad migrain ...so if my h needs to pick somthing up and is just going there and back I just stay home .....I get lonely and I get feeling sorry for my self ...when I can\'t go any ware ...because my head hurts to much ..this year has been bad because the weather is one of my triggers ..the air pressure so if it is storming or all Gray out you can find me on couch dutie ...not much you can do with the weather ..and this year there has just been one storm after a nother .....yes you are right you have to fight it and tell your self you will not let the depreshion controll you ...and sometimes I have to do the same with the migrains ..some things in life you just have to be a part of even if you are in pain ..I take my painkillers ..and visit as long as I can ......you have to have a life .....but I don\'t know anything else I have always had depreshion and sever motion sickness and migrains .....when I was small I tryed to explain it to my mom I told her I had a head ache in my stomic ..she dident understand me .....and would regularly kik us all out of the house ..to play and I would say I dident feel good she would say you will feel better once you were outside for a while ......I stoped complaining and just went to my fave riot tree that had lots of shade ...and was far enough away that it was quiet ...and spent the day there ....