Today is friday February 8th.  I haven't written a long time in my journal because I have been very bitter and negative against friends and family.   My best friend hardly calls me anymore and makes me feel worthless.  She never encourages me anymore it is always something negative to the point I don't choose to call her either.  Some of my family members don't communicate with me as much as they use to, I feel like I'm a stranger or just meeting them for the first time when I am around them because they don't have to much to say or they just keep things hush,hush between them.  They don't invite me to go out shopping or to any events that they attend.  It's like they are embrassed by me because I walk with a cane and sometimes have to use a cart to get around in stores or take my time walking because I can't walk long distances due to my illness.I am tried of being alone with nothing to do day end and day out.  I try to look for outlets but because of my condition it is limited.  I am trying to find a computer class that will teach me how to operate it so that I can be more up-to-date on technology.I have gained weight from my medication and from me eating as well when I should not be but, food has become my friend.  I wish that I could find someone just to talk to who understands what I am going through.