well....
Well Hello,
I haven't been on here in... forever? Seems like that picture was from college. Well I have graduated. I am currently writing from Texas. Although I plan to return to NC soon. I am taking care of my grandmother right now. Finding my way. I hopefully will be getting everything straight soon. Hopefully that means becoming a police officer or joining the Army once I find out what this "epilepsy"is. Long story, for another time and if I choose to write or stay active. But for now I am alive. I am single still I can not complain I guess... there are differences in many ways.. still in a way never been kissed still a virgin.... but some people don't understand that. Guess some people never will.
Writing this brings back the sorrow of one person... for two years. Though we were never in a relationship, I tried hard for us to maybe become one. We could have.. but then again. That is another story as the wave of sorrow passes over my heart. I can't help but feel the tears that have struggled to the back of my mind, my heart, my body, my soul, and my eyes for soul long. You know those times when you try to find someone else, to build a new fire where the old one still smolders. Find new friends, someone to fill that void. But, you can't even find people to talk too in a new state? Yeah.. that's me. I miss her. And the hours, minutes, and seconds of quietness tick by. I hope I'll have a message pop up from someone new, saying hey and we can have a new conversation and carry on and my mind can stay occupied. But it never happens. I can't ever post my feelings for fear she will see it. I know she's on all my social media.. but I can't delete her... cause with her being military.. it's at least one way I know she's safe... cause I know she will never tell me. It sounds bad... but it's the protector in me. We were always like that.. but things took a wrong turn.... Two years of my college life as well.... being in and out of it. Due to schedules.... things I should have listened to because of her. When I was with her, I was who I wanted to be. I stayed that person. Worked harder to become a better that person. But she didn't know that. She never will. She's a world away, in a new life, probably has already started forgetting that Mel person.. but I haven't forgotten Christine.
I haven't been on here in... forever? Seems like that picture was from college. Well I have graduated. I am currently writing from Texas. Although I plan to return to NC soon. I am taking care of my grandmother right now. Finding my way. I hopefully will be getting everything straight soon. Hopefully that means becoming a police officer or joining the Army once I find out what this "epilepsy"is. Long story, for another time and if I choose to write or stay active. But for now I am alive. I am single still I can not complain I guess... there are differences in many ways.. still in a way never been kissed still a virgin.... but some people don't understand that. Guess some people never will.
Writing this brings back the sorrow of one person... for two years. Though we were never in a relationship, I tried hard for us to maybe become one. We could have.. but then again. That is another story as the wave of sorrow passes over my heart. I can't help but feel the tears that have struggled to the back of my mind, my heart, my body, my soul, and my eyes for soul long. You know those times when you try to find someone else, to build a new fire where the old one still smolders. Find new friends, someone to fill that void. But, you can't even find people to talk too in a new state? Yeah.. that's me. I miss her. And the hours, minutes, and seconds of quietness tick by. I hope I'll have a message pop up from someone new, saying hey and we can have a new conversation and carry on and my mind can stay occupied. But it never happens. I can't ever post my feelings for fear she will see it. I know she's on all my social media.. but I can't delete her... cause with her being military.. it's at least one way I know she's safe... cause I know she will never tell me. It sounds bad... but it's the protector in me. We were always like that.. but things took a wrong turn.... Two years of my college life as well.... being in and out of it. Due to schedules.... things I should have listened to because of her. When I was with her, I was who I wanted to be. I stayed that person. Worked harder to become a better that person. But she didn't know that. She never will. She's a world away, in a new life, probably has already started forgetting that Mel person.. but I haven't forgotten Christine.
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