was starting to do better, now two people i care greatly about are in such pain. if either should read this no you did not cause my pain. mine has been there for many years. wishing all others  good things just does not work in this world. no one person can change the world. just keep on trying to change little parts of it. only part that seems to not change is me and i guess those i touch. no i don't think i'm the cause of the worlds problems, just wish there were no problems. there must be that happy medium somewhere.