usually start going downhill before holidays start,not this time. got thru thanksgiving fine it was the day after that sucked. still don't know what happened half way thru the day it just started sprialing down.no conversations no sights that i remember just that empty feeling. got worse and worse. went from empty to worthless. still trying to figure out what happened
Replies
aww hun. unfortunalely with depression it doesnt need a reason :( just keep fighting, be strong. wish i could be there to give you the biggest hug in the world right now!!
Finally after so many years of not being able to go, we put the dog in the kennel and made the eight hour trip down and back to his family\'s house. I had initial anxiety but everyone seemed a bit older and a bit tired and way more laid back than ever. We were glad to have made it, but I pay a very high price for going there physically. It takes it\'s toll. What I think happens is those darned expectations that holidays are supposed to do something for us instead they take our energy and fill life with disappointments. For two years in a row volunteers were supposed to come to help decorate the house for the holidays while hubby was at school. It never happened. Now that he is working maybe we can do it this year together, but I have no expectations. One good thing about that was that there was no horrible clean up and therefore more energy reserved. No fuss no muss. I did what I could do with him for them as far as gifts go, and he went down himself since he was already there in NYC, I stayed home. The idea of the holiday is love and those who really love each other understand.