update

well, my grandmother is in the hospital now. she went in on christmas eve. she had a really bad uti and we took her to the er the day before, but she just got worse. she wasnt really coherent and she couldnt really speak. so we called an ambulance. she is doing much better now. she is back to her normal self, joking and being silly. they also discovered that her intestines were stopped up because she is on too much medications.they are probably going to have to put her in rehab for a few weeks to get her strength back. it has been really nice to have a little break and get a full nights rest. i am starting to feel human again. i was really depressed for a while and feeling sorry for myself, but i have had some realizations this christmas. my cousin called me and he was telling me about his brother being in jail and he told me that the only christmas gift that he got was $15. it just made me think. it made me thankful for everything i have instead of focusing on the negative all the time.  anyways, i hope everyone had a wonderful christmas and i hope y'all have a happy new year.