I am so sick of trying to be positive. I feel like I am going to go insane. I feel like I am stuck in this life that I am helpless in.
What can I do? Nothing, there is nothing I can do.
It makes me sick literally ill.
I try to think of what I have and all I can see is what I dont have.
I am scared, so scared. I am angry and I want somebody to blame.
I want somebody to fix this, I want it to go away.
I cant deal with it anymore.
I am sick of the lump in my throat.
I am sick of acting like Im okay.
I feel like Im going crazy.
Babies babies babies.... its not just in my imagination that is what is going on in the world.
People reproduce that is what we were meant to do, what am I meant to do? Not reproduce, then what?
I dont want to force anymore smiles I want to scream I want to blame.
Its not fair
What can I do? Nothing, there is nothing I can do.
It makes me sick literally ill.
I try to think of what I have and all I can see is what I dont have.
I am scared, so scared. I am angry and I want somebody to blame.
I want somebody to fix this, I want it to go away.
I cant deal with it anymore.
I am sick of the lump in my throat.
I am sick of acting like Im okay.
I feel like Im going crazy.
Babies babies babies.... its not just in my imagination that is what is going on in the world.
People reproduce that is what we were meant to do, what am I meant to do? Not reproduce, then what?
I dont want to force anymore smiles I want to scream I want to blame.
Its not fair
Replies
You\'re right it\'s not fair. I wish there was some way I could help you to feel better but I really think you need to just let it out. Cry, scream & just let it out....You are not alone. I\'m praying that you will find some peace & comfort soon. Sending you big hugs!
Hello love, I\'ve been thinking about you a lot lately. I feel every word of your journal. I hope it helps to know that you are not alone. You and I are two of a kind...and it sucks! I question everyday why this had to happen to me...to us. Everyday I want to cry simply b/c I do not understand. I feel like a failure as a woman and I don\'t know how people can just get opps \"knocked up\" and we can\'t get pregnant by the loves of our lives. Anyway, please message me soon. Would love to talk.
I know that this stupid disease isn\'t fair! I wish there were words that would help take the pain away. I am so sorry that you are in so much pain. Please remember that there are people here that understand your pain and are to help you if you need us. I\'ll keep you in my thoughts and prayers! Let me know if you need anything.
So sorry to hear you are feeling down these days, I know it can be hard, but keep your chin up it will happen.
I send you a big hug and some pixie dust in hopes that it will help and cheer you up.
everything you have written in this post i can relate to and think frequently. i truly understand your feelings. we have 4 losses too, and some days all of these same thoughts i have are almost too much to handle.
thinking of you.
on a lighter note - - i love your new photo!!!
It is not fair. You are a wonderful person and deserve everything in life you want. Keep your head up high, good things will happen soon. I am thinking about you.
I hope releasing all your pent up feelings helps some. I know how you feel but I don\'t. I hope you can find some peace and find your path in life. U are such a good person that eventually good things will come to you :)
You are so right, it is NOT fair there are so many women out there getting PG and getting abortions or abusing them etc... then good people like us and the other ladies on here cant convieve?? I get sooo angry sometimes too, but you do need to let it out, I am sorry you are feeling so low right now, but know you are not alone and we all care about you. My prayers are with you!!!