Happy Thanksgiving!

I just want to say Happy Thanksgiving to all you wonderful Moms on here!  I know this is not a good day for us emotionally.  For me, it marks the six month anniversary of my son's funeral.  I'm glad we chose to have our dinner on Sunday instead.  I'm not ready to "celebrate" anything yet.  
Things have changed in the house since the blow up my husband and I had Monday.  I could not believe he was so full of himself that he would want to argue on a day that was so emotionally retching for me?!  Of course, that's what alcoholics do.  But his mood has been different.  Almost like he knows he crossed a line and knows that my feelings have changed.  Do I still love him?  I do.  Am I willing to continue down this path that I know will never change?  Not anymore.  I can't just pack up and leave right now.  It's a hard thing to do after so long.  But as each day emerges, I will gain a little more strength until the day comes that I just wake up and walk away.  
I hope today we find some kind of peace with our grieving.  I'm not sure what I will do today.  Something, anything.  I can't just sit and watch him drink. But I have felt a slight relief since the other night.  I prayed that night and every night since about it.  I just turned it over to God.  I gave it to him and I'm no longer going to worry about my husband.  If he wants to continue to drink and not be the support system I need, then that's HIS problem.  From now on, I only worry about me.
Happy Thanksgiving, Moms.  Hugs and Love to you all.
Penny

Replies

Livingjuicy
Livingjuicy

Hoping you move through the day as gently as possible and it does feel as if some things have shifted for you. Isn\'t it amazing when we give it over the peace that can come?

You are taking care of yourself, Penny, and that is the most important thing that you can do.

Loving care to you this day and in the ones ahead.
XO Joanie
Reunion
Reunion

I like your thinking and wives have every right to put self preservation uppermost...Hoping your day is peaceful...Love, Donna
ter1
ter1

Sending positive thoughts of peace in your home and in your life and soul.
Namaste,
Terry