Well I'm still hanging in there.Very rough day yesterday all I thought of is Justin.I'm really missing him.We had Braden(Justin's son) this last weekend it's such a joy to see him.When I look at him I can see Justin it makes me sad that he'll never see his daddy again.He does remember some things about his daddy.I always tell him his Daddy loves him.He got up Sunday and said mema I had a bad dream it was about my daddy Justin.I ask him if he remembered it he just said it was a bad dream.His mom invited us to his birthday party Jan.5th.I was shocked because she doesn't care for me much, never has.When Alicia and Justin fought he always called me right in the middle of the fight she always called him a mommy's boy which actually he was.Anyway we had a good time at his party he showed me his room,bathroom,garage,how he can ride his new bike even showed us the backyard.He was so excited because we have never been to his house. We had tornado's here a week ago Monday.It tore the roof off Rebecca's(daughter)school they were out of school for 2 days then the next 2 days that had school at a church.My husband wasn't home yet so I had to ride that one by myself I'm scared to death of storms it hit on the other side of town.We were all safe and no damage to the house.I need to go to the cematary to see if Justin's flowers are still there which I doubt.It's been 10 months since Justin died it seems just like yesterday.I'm having some good days but when I have bad days I have no energy all I do is cry.I miss his stories that always made us laugh.That beautiful smile,his jokes and all those phone calls.My cell phone hardly rings anymore.I can remember when he was 9 or 10 he told Mike and me when he grows up he's going to mow yards that was his dream at that time.He use to mow a few yards for money and back then he thought it was alot of money.God I miss him I try to picture him with his smile but all I see is him in that casket damn those drugs.I can't understand why he took that methadone he knew it was a bad drug.I wish I knew who gave it to him but Mike says we will never find out and the person that gave him the drugs has to live with it the rest of his or her life.I do know it had to be one of his friends and I'm pretty sure I know who might of gave it to him.She called me everyday for 2 weeks untill I got the toxicology report back and I have never heard from her since.Kinda strange?All my friends on DS have got me this far.I'm so thankful I found out about this web site.I love you all.God Bless,hugs,jfm24,vicki
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So sorry about the tornado-It must have been scary to be alone through it. Glad you are all okay and glad your house is okay. You really sound in better spirits these days.I am sure the holidays were rough for you and probably the anniversary of your son\'s death will be tough too. Remember I am here to give you love and support. God bless!:0)