I feel tired today it's my first bad day in a couple of days.I'm going to try and go Christmas shopping tomorrow if all goes well.I love my family so much but it seems like i'm the only one freaking out and grieving.I sometimes wonder how they go about their day and I'm hurting,crying,thinking of Justin everyday.I'm trying so hard to keep Justin included for Christmas.I decorated his grave for Christmas.I cried the whole time got done and said that's all I can do for you.Merry Christmas son I love you and left.Oh God I wish you would give me peace and help me understand why you needed him.I wasn't done being a mother to him.He had so many dreams that wasn't done.Thank you DS love you all.jfm24,vicki