Well thank God it's Friday seemed like a long week.I did have a couple of good days this week went shopping for Christmas.Can't wait till the holidays are over.Trying to figure out if I should buy Justins his presents that I buy every year.I always buy him boxers and socks he always said he couldn't wait tell Christmas so he could get his new underwear and socks he never would buy them he always waited tell Christmas.I'm going to miss my chocalate covered cherries he would get me every year.I think its the little things I'm going to miss.It's never going to be the same.I'm a different person now since Justin's has died.I know I get scared to death when my daughter Ashli goes out I always think the worst.I'm suppose to get Braden, my grandson this weekend but haven't heard from his mom yet I left a message.My exhusband bought a blue spruce when Justin died left it for me at the cematary we planted it in our backyard so when you look out the window you can see it.I went out there Wednesday and put red christmas balls on it.I try to do as much as I can to try and include him for Christmas even though he's gone I think I do it for me cause it makes me feel good.I bought 2 snowmen and went and put them on Justin's headstone.It's all I can do He's always on my mind it still hurts and that will probably never go away.No matter how hard I try to accept it.I do know I still feel the pain in my heart this has taken a toll on me I look 10 years older than I did 8 months ago.I'm so glad I have such caring,wonderful,loving people from DS.I hope you all never ever forget me in your prayers I need many right now.Hope everyone has a good weekend.Thank you all for listening to me you all are wonderful people.jfm24,vicki