well today is thursday the 13.i just got my youngest daughter to school.so here i set all alone.8 more days and my justin will be gone 6 months.the longest 6 months i ever had.My daughter ashli who is 18 moved out a week ago i feel like i've lost 2 children.i didn't think she would ever move from home she still acts like a teenager who is so naive.i worry that she'll do something she will regret.i was over there yesterday and found 3 bottles of liquor in their frig i just came unguled on her she said she would never do that she has a roommate, she said her and her boyfreind drink it.ashli has about 5 good friends that she has known since grade school.good kids. so i guess i'll believe her.i have no other choice.i pray she is telling us the truth she has never lied to us.I always thought justin was going down the right road he always seemed honest but i guess he said what i wanted to hear.he was a good kid until he went to high school then i started to hear rumors.i guess i believed justin when he told me he wasn't drinking or doing drugs.my life without justin is so empty i have no desire to go have fun i just sit in this house day after day trying to sort out what went wrong in justin,s life where he had to be on drugs to be happy.he was always stressed out. the only happy times i saw him was when he was taken hydrocodiene.then he was on cloud nine i just wish his friends would of told me. after the funeral was when i started hearing he was taking those drugs.looking back i do remember him calling me crying for help he told me he was addicted to those pain pills of course i didn't realize he was that bad i ask him if he would go to rehap but he said he couldn't because he had bills to pay.we talked everyday about his addiction.then one day he said i was done with those pills.he called a methadone clinic telling him that methadone could help him kick the addiction.I begged him not to go there that it was a dangerous drug. somehow he got a couple(thats what i hear) and he overdosed.what a way to die he was the most kindest,helped everyone out,he had many many friends i just wish someone would come forward and tell me who gave them to him.i'm sure i'll never know.part of my life is gone.have no energy to do anything.i need all the support and prayers to help meto understand. jfm24,vicki
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thank you so much i know you can do so much raising your children sometimes i feel like i\'m the one that didn\'t do enough for my children it\'s so hard raising children.again thank you.hugs, keep those prayers coming.jfm24,vicki
You did all you could for him. You were there for him, and he knows that. You tried to help him. He knows that and he knows how much you love him. You can only do so much for your children, especially when they are adults. You have to let up on yourself and put the blame on him for making bad choices. They were not choices you made, they were his choices, as an adult. It\'s ok to blame him and not yourself, even though he is gone. It\'s ok to put the blame on him for what he did, and let yourself off the hook. It won\'t help bring him back, of course, but it will take away the unnecessary burden of guilt on you. Let it go. I no more would have put a gun in my son\'s hands than you would have given your son methadone. It\'s not our fault.