Bored

Its my second day here.  My thoughts are still a jumbled mess.  I was checking out the different groups and I joined one for empty nesters.  Having just sent my youngest (of 3) off to college I thought this was a good group.  But after reading thru some of the posts, I'm not so sure if I fit in.  Most of these moms are having a very hard time adjusting.  Thats where I seem to be different.  I'm actually loving it.  For the most part anyway.  I have always always always been someone who likes quiet and to be alone with my thoughts.  So this has been a good time for me.  However, I have been struggling somewhat with what my new identity should be.  I have been a stay at home mom for a long time.  Aside from the occasional part time gig here and there thru out the last 22 years, I have been for the most part exclusively at my familys beck and call.  I have cooked for them, cleaned for them, taxied them, comforted them, basically anything they needed, now its gone.  Well, not completely.  My oldest graduated from college last spring and has been struggling to find work to match her degree.  She is back home with us, so I still have her to care for.  But its simply not the same.  She is a very quiet, keep to yourself kind of girl.  very much like me.  She is dependent on me for rides to her part time job.  She doesnt drive.  She refuses to do so.  She says she is too scared.  I guess I have to respect that.  Its kind of nice she still needs me but depressing at the same time.
So I'm sitting here very bored at the moment.  The house is clean, the laundry is done.  Now what?  I feel as though I need to do something meaningful today.  I need something to tell my husband when he comes home from work.  He always asks me what I did during the day.  Lately I have not had much to tell him.  I feel guilty.  He is out busting his butt at work and I'm just wandering around my house trying to keep busy.  I would like to eventually get a part time job, but until my daughter gets her future figured out, i feel stuck.  ugh.  well at least it gives me something to think about.  My brain is always busy.   until next time......................