26 Aug

On the way to be tested again.  Don't know what they can tell by asking the same question over and over.  There is no question that could explain the emptiness ii feel.  Kind of like a shell of a human with nothing inside.  I have no emotion of happy, sad, mad, just an empty feeling.   The thoughts of ending it have not left.  The are in the back of my mind always. I have no want to be around anyone else.  Just to llock myself away.    Food has no taste.  I'm not hungry or feel the urge to eat.  Bobbie continues to make me eat.  I know this is wearing on her.  But I don't know what to do or how to explain it to her.  I'm just lucky she has stay ed as long as she has.
 
Well testing over.  Don't know how it tells them anything. Could tell Bobbie was upset/disturbed by some of the answers I gave.  Stuff I keep to myself.  From back then and current events.  Just another doctor bill to tell me what I already know....I'm screwed up in the head.   He did get one diagonois right, I prefer to be locked away from everyone.  That way I can't hurt anyone,...by myself.