My life
Today my depression is spinning out of control because of a couple of things my husband said to me yesterday. He told me if anything ever happened to him lets see if my kids will be around for me. My children are the only family I have. I always thought about this because he is twelve years older then me. Sure I'm affraid to be alone someday I don't drive because of bad nerves and as far as family goes my kids are all I have and alot of times the oldest acts like she hates me. For one thing she can't deal with my depression and thinks I am like this to gain sympathy. Who would ever want to feel like this on purpose. I have good days and bad days that is all I know. I get hurt real easy that is what my sister hated about me. Another person that would rather take me out of her live then have to listen to my problems. I am waiting for the hospital to call about my surgery but as yet no call so not sure when the date is as yet. If so many people hate me why do I even bother with the surgery at all.
Replies
I am so sorry to hear about your depression spinning out of control. From one suffer to another, I understand what you are going through. Sometimes, it doesn\'t feel like it, but your family will always be there for you. On one of my therapy visits, my counselor asked my wife to sit in so that he could explain the complexities of depression. It was only then did she understand the extent of depression and how if effects our daily lives. We do have good days and bad days and unfortunately we can\'t pick them. Your family, as well as, your close friends do care about you. We all love you dearly, but some, haven\'t figured out the way to mend the bridge that link your lives. I wish you and your husband well during this difficult time.
Iam sorry for everything thats happening to you right now. Sometimes we have to push forward for ourselves. Gentle hugs. Im preaching to the choir, very down myself.
I\'m sorry your depression is so severe today. Obviously, I\'m not there, but I honestly don\'t think your family hates you. There is a big difference between frustration and hatred, and based on what you\'ve said, I think there is a lot of frustration going around. After all, you could say that you\'re frustrated by your oldest daughter...and perhaps even hate what she\'s doing...but deep down you love her very much. People often get frustrated when they can\'t understand something, and I suspect that your daughter just can\'t understand why you\'re feeling down sometimes.
If you can\'t believe that your family loves you, then keep in mind that there are people on here who care about you very much (see above, and me included). I want you to be well, even though it means going through another horrible surgery, because you are a good friend of mine. I hope you feel better soon! Hugs, Judy
Thankyou Robert, SnailAway amd Judy. It means so much to me that you guys care enough to write.