Can't sleep
I've been up since three trying to sleep but I just can't turn my mind off. I get up everyday waiting for the hospital to call me with a date for my kidney surgery. When I first got on DS about seven months ago I thought I found a place where I finally fit in. Now I don't know anymore. It is starting to make me feel like I use to when I was on facebook. I try to make friends and join in on groups but I hardly get anyone to listen to me. I came here for my depression, lonliness and the pain I feel with my fibro. Like facebook it is starting to make my depression worse. I miss the family and friends I use to have but I have been hurt by so many family members that I have just given up on them. My bestfriend died three years ago and we had known each other since I was five and she was seven. I never felt alone when she was in my life. Even when she was dealing with her last stages of cancer she was still calling me to see how I was doing.
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well I haven\'t seen much of you here on Chronic pain or even in loneliness group....but I just read journal and wonder why kidney surgery? Anyway the ChP group is pretty cool group and since you have fibro you would fit right in with us...we have daily checkin sometimes two or three times a day...including breakfast we share together in virtual foods and places around the globe....then evening time some of us who are not morning people share....then eventually someone cannot sleep...so midnight checkins....hugs bill
Thankyou billwfriend the kidney surgery is due to a very large staghorn stone that has almost grown the entire size of the kidney. If left will probally end of with kidney failure. That was my other kidney too which I had the last surgery six months ago.
I understand your not being able to sleep. When I have something that I have to get up for the next day I rarely need an alarm clock so I can only imagine what it must be like to be waiting for news about an upcoming surgery. I understand your feelings about being hear since I share them too. You are such a caring person I hate to see you feeling this way. Maybe you have or haven\'t yet but it might help to join some support groups that you can relate with and post about how you are feeling in them. The depression group is a very active group and I think if you posted in there on how your health conditions have made you feel bad and have isolated you and that you could use some friends I think you could make friends there. I think that\'s how most people connect here is through the support groups and by participating in them. I know though it takes a lot of time and effort to be here and people will come and go so it\'s nothing like having a real friend in real life. (((Hugs)))
Thankyou Scott for writing. Maybe after my surgery I will join a support group.