Feeling sad.

Today I'm really feeling terible. Now that the holidays are here I think about all the family and friends that I have lost. Can't really understand why my sister has treated me like she has but for my own health I have accepted it. I just wish I was the kind of person that goes out and meets alot of people but I'm just not like that. I have always been on the shy side and really never go outside my comfort zone. So I will be spending thankgiving with my husband and two daughters. Then my one daughter will leave to go spend the rest of the time with my sister and the family I use to be with. I know in ways I'm lucky because some people have no one to be with. Plus being so affaid to go through the surgery on the other kidney. They did four surgerys on the first one. I will be going to see the doctor next Tuesday to set up the surgery for sometime in Feb. This is making my depression so bad. When I think of going through this again is all I do is cry. Well I hope all my friends on here have a Happy Thankgiving and I will be thinking of all of you.