busy
I am starting to feel motivated again. It must have something to do with coming on here and remembering why I feel so "sluggish" in the first place, as well as thinking about all that my children have gone/go through. Also worrying about Alyssa after our conversation on Friday and worrying about Jordan and wanting him home. I miss my life and myself, and I SO want to see the people my children are/can be.
Alyssa is being picked on at school--that's part of her issues when she comes home. Part of me knows that the reason she chooses to be such a "bully" here at home is because of what she has experienced and the fact that she has learned that it is acceptable to get your way by acting like you "own the world". But, another, bigger part of me, worries about the effect of the "mean" people at school. She is obese. I was shocked with just how big she had gotten until we went for her checkup two weeks ago and the doctor pointed it out. She says it has reached "critical status" and Alyssa now needs to see someone at Children's Hospital. I cannot even tell her father because I know he will be mean and hideous about it and will make her feel worse than she already does. I feel awful for several reasons. The first is, I realized she was a big girl--but somehow I missed just how big she was. I also should have realized that, although she probably was being picked on and I asked repeatedly, she wasn't comfortable sharing the mean things people say to her. After talking to her Friday about it, I have decided to pull her out of school while we go through the process of losing weight and fitness and home school her. I don't know if this is the best option, but I feel it is necessary at this point. My baby gets "bullied" and picked on enough at home, I can't stand the thought of it happening at school too. The problem is how in the hell am I going to manage this, and how do I keep her father from knowing what is going on. I also am so confused about where to go or what to do from here. I called the Board of Ed yesterday, they told me how to apply to homeschool, but as far as curriculum, etc, they can be no help at all. They told me to do a google search, which I did, and then get information. There are SO many sights out there!
Jordan texted me at midnight last night/this morning. All the message said was "I think I just want to come home now." I tried to call him when I woke up at 6, but no answer. I am now worried about him. I want him home so badly, and will deal with the consequences from Timmy when he gets here. I just want my babies back with me, where they belong!!!
Alyssa is being picked on at school--that's part of her issues when she comes home. Part of me knows that the reason she chooses to be such a "bully" here at home is because of what she has experienced and the fact that she has learned that it is acceptable to get your way by acting like you "own the world". But, another, bigger part of me, worries about the effect of the "mean" people at school. She is obese. I was shocked with just how big she had gotten until we went for her checkup two weeks ago and the doctor pointed it out. She says it has reached "critical status" and Alyssa now needs to see someone at Children's Hospital. I cannot even tell her father because I know he will be mean and hideous about it and will make her feel worse than she already does. I feel awful for several reasons. The first is, I realized she was a big girl--but somehow I missed just how big she was. I also should have realized that, although she probably was being picked on and I asked repeatedly, she wasn't comfortable sharing the mean things people say to her. After talking to her Friday about it, I have decided to pull her out of school while we go through the process of losing weight and fitness and home school her. I don't know if this is the best option, but I feel it is necessary at this point. My baby gets "bullied" and picked on enough at home, I can't stand the thought of it happening at school too. The problem is how in the hell am I going to manage this, and how do I keep her father from knowing what is going on. I also am so confused about where to go or what to do from here. I called the Board of Ed yesterday, they told me how to apply to homeschool, but as far as curriculum, etc, they can be no help at all. They told me to do a google search, which I did, and then get information. There are SO many sights out there!
Jordan texted me at midnight last night/this morning. All the message said was "I think I just want to come home now." I tried to call him when I woke up at 6, but no answer. I am now worried about him. I want him home so badly, and will deal with the consequences from Timmy when he gets here. I just want my babies back with me, where they belong!!!
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