Hey Dad, hows things???Where to start...I rang Mum yesterday, she sure knows how to lay on the guilt trip. She is slowly dying..i know this for sure. She isn't eating much, she has fight in her, she isn't looking after herself at all. She wants someone/me to be there all the time doing everything for her, right down to bathing her because she doesn't shower/wash often. I got in contact with the Uniting Church home care program and they are going to assess her. If she had a gun I tihnk she would of shot herself by now. It tears me apart every time I talk to her, takes me days to get over the guilt.... just nothing short of throwing my life into hold mode will satify her. She even said its ok for Allan and Janie to have a life of their own, they have good jobs, family....but me??? noooo  time to come home Margy and look after Mum!!!!Apart from that life is the same Dad, I'm working too hard, giving my body reasons to scream in pain..but I keep going. I have to go back to the doctors tomorrow... another wasted hour or so of test results and bullshit. What do I do Dad??  How can I get through all this crap? What am i going to do as far as Mum is concerned?   Thank god for Chris, he is my sanity... he just sits and waits till I calm down, hugs me at the right moment... makes me laugh when the whole world seems to pile in on me. He is so much like you Dad, a quiet gentle cruiser... only gets agro when someone/thing threatens his family, then he is a raging bull until things get sorted out and its back to the quiet calm man that is always there for me. better go, work is still yelling for split beds, towels..all that craplove ya heaps Dad, I will be ok, just a struggle getting past Mums guilt tripXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX