I may be still be drowning, but at least today I can see a way out, maybe, one day, if I am strong enough.It is so darn hard to just get up every morning, no one knows what is going on inside my mind, they can't see the pain and fear. they just expect that you will get up, do your job, say the right things, do all the paper work, deal with all the hassles.They look at me with a strange look if my eyes tear up, they see my hands shake and wonder what the heck is going on, I can't tell them, they don't know...... they see me every day, yet they have no idea of the emotional and phyical strain ......I am an adult, I should be able to just keep on going, get over it, get on with life, suck it up, at least thats what they think!!!Well who the heck are "they"anyway"!!!!!!!!!!!Until they walk a day in my shoes, they can go jump!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!