I have just realized I am pushing my own kids away!!!!!!!!!I don't want then to like me anymore, I don't want them to go through the pain of losing a parent that they like/love, Dad, I need your level headed talk NOW!!!!!!Tell me everything will be okay, put your arm around me and just be there in that comfortable silence, remind me that I'm being a  "bloody idiot", not that you eversaid that...more like, "don't worry love, I know,   and it will be okay"