wow. very emotional nite.Got my divorce papers so took em to my mom to sign cus she is a notary. Did some shopping Came home to an apology (!) from cop guy. Then had a pizza and talked to my ex for like 2 hours. The talk was so nice. He was curious about my "kinda dumped" comment. So i told him home town cop, he lost it, he thought it was so funny. i did mention the local police are my STBX's enemy right? He thought it ws hysterical. We talked about music and old friends. i am glad we can be friends now. He was always the easiest person I knew to talk to. And He is the only person I know who shared the same music addiction as me. A big part of the convo was centered on the new Silverchair album. he said he still loves me, but understands, a lot, now. We made plans for lunch while he comes in for christmas. Funny... the thing I am most afraid will happen is I will sleep with him. LMAO. The first time we separated, he asked me to dinner. we hadnt gotten back tot he house yet, half our clothes were gone. Yet, throughout the actual marriage our sex life sucked. oh well. I suppose you always want what u cant have. so is the mystique of cop guy.my response to him, in case u were curious... "You are the most unstable man I have ever met, and with the existence of my abusive ex-husband, that is pretty f***ed up. Until you are ready to explain yourself, leave me out of it." havent heard back. My theory? either he was starting to have feelings and hes a committment-phobe, or he really is nutzo. hes still hott.LOL. i can dream right? Met a new guy. Ill just say dave guy cus I am still fuzzy on his occupation. His opening statement to me was "wow, you seem nice. If you would like, can we be friends?" I told him he must be on the wrong dating site. lol. My hopes are soooo not that high.so i cant decide. i listened to the new pink and it made me cry, but I have already posted it here. and we talked about the new silverchair, so that is kinda the theme for tonite. And strangely as I read them, the lyrics are makin some sense. Maybe. i dunno. I think, but I dont.  Silverchair Straight Lines Breathing from a hole in my lung, I had no one But faces in front of me. Racing through the void in my head, To find traces Of a good luck academy. Sparks ignite I'm trading for thought About no one And nothing in particular Watched the sick and stuck in drove Resent nothing As good will inside of me Wake me up low with a fever Walking in a straight line Set me on fire in the evening Everything will be fine Waking up strong in the morning Walking in a straight line Lately I'm a desperate believer But I'm walking in a straight line Something that I'll never forget I felt desperate And stuck to the marrow Invisible to everyone else I'm a sex change And a damsel with no heroine. Wake me up low with a fever Walking in a straight line Set me on fire in the evening Everything will be fine Waking up strong in the morning Walking in a straight line Lately I'm a desperate believer But I'm walking in a straight line I don't need no time to say There's no change in yesterday But if we keep talking in I keep walking in straight lines Wake me up low with a fever.... I like that line... if we keep talking in ill keep walkin in.... I feel like myself right now. No additives. no cop guys, no divorce. feel... normal.