welp... tonite is an evening of enjoying the silence... Parents are in Michigan dealing with a flooded basement. Girlfriend is working. ex's best pals are in Minnesota. Couldnt find anyone. Yeah it was cop guy who cancelled. I am so confused. I kinow I shouldnt give it much thought. But after last night all the teary loneliness... and tonite he wanted to stay home alone. I suppose, when I was at my worst, I did relish it from time to time. It probably sounds sick. To enjoy the sadness. But when I was sad, no social activity did as much for me as crying to sad songs. I cried a little today too. I still have my moments, dark ones. It's odd. Cop guy apologized earlier for layin it all on me. I told him noone deserves to be alone without anyone to talk to. Its moments like that I realize how lucky I am to have found this place. It is a source of strength. And every day has a bright moment when I sign on and find a hug or message waiting. I should make a list of the songs I post... that way I will know if I am ever repeating myself. I love the wreckers. I have been a michelle branch fan, kinda, but the wreckers. Great stuff. Poppy kinda country. This song makes me wish I still smokedCigarettesGot my headlights shining Down an old dirt roadSmoke my cigarettesI should quit, I knowThe radio’s playingold country songsSomeone’s leaving, someone’s cheating,on and onI think I might likeThe quiet nights, Of this empty life'Cause someday maybesomebody will love me like I needAnd someday I won’t have to prove 'Cause somebody will seeAll my worth but until thenI’ll do just fine on my ownWith my cigarettesAnd this old dirt roadSee I left anothergood man tonightI wonder if he'll miss meLord knows I triedBut I think that maybethe thing that I did wrongWas put up with this bullshitfor far too longI think I might like[Cigarettes lyrics on http://www.metrolyrics.com]The quiet nights, Of this empty life'Cause someday maybesomebody will love me like I needAnd someday I won’t have to prove 'Cause somebody will seeAll my worth but until thenI’ll do just fine on my ownWith my cigarettesAnd this old dirt roadI ain’t gonna sleepI don't wanna dreamAbout the things that I used to needI aint’ gonna cryOr go on living liesI'm just gonna drive'Cause somedaymaybe somebody will love meAnd someday I won’t have to proveAll my worth But until then I’ll do just fine on my ownWith my cigarettes and this old 'Cause someday maybesomebody will love me like I needAnd someday I won’t have to prove 'Cause somebody will seeAll my worth but until thenI’ll do just fine on my ownWith my cigarettesAnd this old dirt road