I dont even care if my ex is mad or hurt anymore. i just dont. i dont know how it got turned off. I have some good thoughts from my friendly little friendlies here. I just dont care. Tonite I spent with my ex's best friend, then went out with just his wife for drinks who tol dme he is calling them asking what i am doing. I was curious if she felt that i had given in too soon. She didn't feel that I did. In fact she disagreed as I asked. Her head shook as I said the sentence "do ya think I didn't give..." that was it. She said you gave it all you could and more than he deserved. After a drink with her I called cop guy. we made out for a few and then talked. It was nice to talk to him. he can be a lil quiet for me... I love the innocence of making out. Kissing... Its so fun when there are no expectations beyond. i didnt realize how much I loved it till I met him. I feel a need to detail but i will leave pg-13 rated tidbits for now. Maybe forever. I am kissing and telling. isnt that enuf? I have no song. I am too tired. I am going to dream sweet things about a cute boy who is fabulous at wasting time with me. If anyone has a lyric that fits me or you or the world... g'head and post. As for me, my bunny calls.
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I have a hunch about how it got turned off. Years of hurt. Someone once said that love can be neglected and ignored, like a weed, and still survive. You can mow over it and forget to water it and fertilize it and it can still survive. But... if you dig deep enough, if you go for the root and destroy that, it can\'t survive.
ya know. I like the analogy. All day it kept coming into my brain. For years I was able to keep fighting and pushing for him. And within a weeks time I went from that to who gives a rat\'s toushy. I think I pulled my own root. Glad I found it. My life was exhausting.
I\'m glad too. It\'s all gonna be OK. AND I\'m SO glad you got out before kids! That\'s an awful mess that you avoided! You really did the right thing.