Surreal? You tell me. So since my stbx's parents found out about my request for a divorce things have been wierd. The first thing out of his little sisters mouth was concerned only with the things she is storing in our basement. His mom bought me some stationary but I couldnt call. He told them only my part in it. Nothing he did wrong... And it isnt my place to bad-mouth him so I wont be trying to pin on him, anything that he did naughty. Although that is why I want him to go. But whatever. He did say it was a mutual feeling and not to hate me and we would remain friends so dont be mean if they see me in the supermarket kinda thing. They knew I didnt want to see them. Hence my trip to Michigan this week, cus they will be here moving him out. I dont wanna deal. Last nite was supposed to be one final hoorrah with his best friend and his wife. Our tradition is dinner and drinks at a brewery downtown. stbx made reservations for us four and their new baby. He comes home yesterday to inform me his sister and parents want to go too. That we are meeting at their house so they can follow us up there. Now I am ticked because (you know I love a cocktail) I am always the sober driver on brewery nite cus my stbx usually packs a half a dozen pints. So they are going to follow my 80mphass thru trffic on the dan ryan? Oh no... I am not happy. Not to mention an uncomforatble dinner... At least my girlfriend will be there to be a buffer.We pull up to their home. It is time to leve to make reservations. They arent even ready to go yet. I am nervous. I get out of the car, and I was prolly pushy... "are we ready?" I am asking. As I am moaning about traffic and being late... a limo pulls up. Robert, our driver gets out to greet us. His family starts laughing and snapping pictures. My stbx looks at me frenzied. I am completely confused. Oh, yes, they did. They hired a limo to take us all downtown. Nice right? Yeah but a little unexpected. It was a strech with led lights in the inside... They chilled (lol) a bottle of merlot for me cus they knew I love wine. I was overwhelmed by their kindness... A final send off perhaps?As soon as we get in the limo, our friedns call.. their baby is sick and they cannot come out. There went my buffer. During the ride my stbx and I realized the last time we were in a limo was on our wedding day. It kinda gave us both the chills. beginning and end. Dinner went without a hitch. Lots of fun conversation and giggles. So now will it be a slap in the face if I am not here to formally say good bye to them? Ugh. So my sister in law is a blonde Audrey Hepburn in Breakfast at Tiffanys. Beautiful. Demure. She was sittting alone in the back seat of the stretch and we were all teasing her about how 'right' it looked that she was back there... wrapped in a black shawl... looking at the city lights. this song popped in my head and I started a drunken frenzy searching radio stations to play it. Its that new one by fergie. Glamorous... [B-Section:]We flyin' first classUp in the skyPoppin' champagneLivin' my lifeIn the fast laneAnd I wont changeBy the Glamorous, oh the flossy flossy[chorus:]The glamorous,The glamorous, glamorousBy the Glamorous, oh the flossy flossy[Verse:]Wear them gold and diamonds ringsAll them things don't mean a thingChaperons and limousinesShopping for expensive thingsI be on the movie screensMagazines and boogie scenesI'm not clean, I'm not pristineI'm no queen, I'm no machineI still go to Taco BellDrive through, raw as hellI don't care, I'm still realNo matter how many records I sellAfter the show or after the GrammiesI like to go cool out with the familySippin', reminiscing on days when I had a MustangAnd now I'm in...[B-Section:]first classUp in the skyPoppin' champagneLivin' my lifeIn the fast laneAnd I won't changeBy the Glamorous, oh the flossy flossy[Ludacris:]I'm talking Champagne wishes, caviar dreamsYou deserve nothing but all the finer thingsNow this whole world has no clue what to do with usI've got enough money in the bank for the two of usBrother gotta keep enough lettuceTo support your shoe fetishLifestyles so rich and famousRobin Leach will get jealousHalf a million for the stonesTaking trips from here to RomeSo If you ain't got no money take yo'broke ass homeG-L-A-M-O-R-O-U-S, yeah G-L-A-M-O-R-O-U-S[B-Section:]We flyin' first classUp in the skyPoppin' champagneLivin' the lifeIn the fast laneAnd I wont changeBy the Glamorous, oh the flossy flossy[Verse:]I got problems up to hereI've got people in my earTelling me these crazy thingsThat I don't want to knowI've got money in the bankAnd I'd really like to thankAll the fans, I'd like to thankThank you really thoughCause I remember yesterdayWhen I dreamt about the daysWhen I'd rock on MTV, that be really dopeDamn, It's been a long roadAnd the industry is coldI'm glad my daddy tell me sohe let his daughter know. Ha. Okay now I read the lyrics. It makes no sense. But the tune is still in my head. Ha. you tell me.
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very surreal!!! I think you\'re incredibly strong to even go through this evening. If it were me I\'d run and hide somewhere! I don\'t really understand what was going on. Your in-laws still like you? Hard for me to wrap my mind around tthat as my in-laws and I hate each other. And he was bad mouthing you? Maybe they know their son better than you think. More information please! I don\'t get it.
OMG sounds like you have one heckava week. MMMMM maybe the last dinner was a goodbye to you 2 as a couple but as it sounds like the dinner went well sounds to me like they hold no animosity towards you. I will tell you something, whether or not you ever decide to tell your stbx\'x folks some of the \"truth\" they already know. Maybe not 100% but they know enough, and maybe the dinner was a way of saying, hey it is ok, we understand to a degree. We parents of adult kids are not blind to their faults. We may defend them, even excuse some of their behavior but we KNOW. But some truth coming out, especially to the poor sister who will now need to rent a storage center, may help at some future time. So, if ya run into them at the supermarket, carry on, don\'t make excuses, if they ask, tell the truth...simply of course. You, or anyone else, will never know how many letter I wrote to my ex\'s mother to tell her EXACTLY why I booted sonny boy out of the nest so to speak, but I never mailed them but it sure helped me by writing it out. LOL at first the woman told me I should \"get down on my knees and thank God for such a wonderful man, then in less than 2 years she had the audacity to ask if I would consider a reconciliation. HaHa when baby boy ran home he had to live with momma, and she soon found out the so called \"adult\" he had become. A mean tempered drunk, a self serving ass when sober, can\'t hold but the most menial of jobs, whines blah blah blah. Like I wanted that back? When I could have found a dozen replacements just like him in a heartbeat? No Sparky, do not be too worried as they do know more than they will let on. If you can keep a civil and decent relationship with them so much the better. Does not mean you have to invite them to tea or spend Christmas with them. At least you stbx asked you to \"be nice\", so he knows his failings, whereas my ex had no clue LOL. I am wondering that after the seperation is gone thru with, you are alone in peace that maybe your love of the cocktail will diminish. I used alcohol to self medicate the last couple years and it was so funny, the minute I knew he was gone for good I felt no need to drink. I did have some down moments, not of missing him, but of worry about the house, money the kids etc and I got a good drunk on but it didn\'t take anything away like it had before. I still drink, but not everyday, a few \"fruity little drinks cause I can\'t shoot whiskey\" in the warm weather, wine with dinner when I go out, that kind of thing. See? I can quote songs too, well what lyrics I can remember without the song actually being on. So take care of YOU, without YOU it will be hard. You need to feed yourself in order to get on with it, it took me a million years to learn that, and many hours in therapy too, but like some Dr on Oprah said, don\'t eat others problems...give the plate back to them. And as good ol\' Dr Phil says, \"own it\", I take that to mean your own dealings, no one elses, you can and will overcome a lot of crap if you just look into the inner you. Oh God, I sound like my own therapist LOL, I will remember to tell him so next appt. A nice and caring guy, so lucky in him as I have encountered a few that were nuttier than I.
take care....keep us all aprised...lorelei
Thanks for your insights... I am still confused myself.. and it got worse today. I got home from my candle show and he followed me in. He had gone to his parents for whatever and they had bought him a cake. His BF\'s wife said it sounds like they were celebrating the breakup. I dont think that is the case. Dinner went well cus all of us drank on the way down...
The reason I stopped telling his parents what his faults are is because when we first got married we were broke. He was bragging about his baseball card collection adn I said somthing in front of inlaws like \"wish you could sell a few so we could pay bills\" and his mother had the nerve to say \"You just dont know what it\'s like to work to earn things.\" Hi. I am an electrician. She is a mooch who lived with any guy who wouldnt beat her at the time. My stbx doesnt even know his own father. I worked for everything... granted my family was never hurting for money but at 16 I was told get a job... You want anything besides toothpaste and the food put on the table, its your responsibilty.
My mother in law also told me a year ago that I \"took him away\" fom her. We moved 5 miles from their address. So I was afraid this dinner would be \"your sending him away\" cus he is choosing to move 800 miles south.
I am lost. Now, esp with the cake. Seriously? did they blow out candles and everything?
LOL> on ure ex lorelei. glad they found out about his real side.
So, no, timbuktu, my inlaws and I dont love each other but I am alwaays trying to fit into their world (so different from mine) and they appreciate that.
It relaly wasnt too wierd. I dunno. I still wont be here when they come to move him> I am blown away.
Ok thanks for commenting. LOVE YAs!!!
Supposedly my inlaws still love me too, but never will tell me what hubby is up too. So is it they want to stay out of the mess or they just pretend to care about me... who know, Sounds like a trip of a night. You know I am always here for you...
My best hunch, and it\'s just a hunch, is that they just like you! Why not? They wouldn\'t have wanted to do what they did if they didn\'t like you. I wonder if they want you two to stay together so that at least he won\'t move so far away? And I do think they know what kind of person he is. Parents know. They probably feel bad for you. But you know what? It really is his loss (and theirs) and they know it. I can certainly understand your confusion. So many mixed messages reflecting so many mixed feelings. i guess these things are never simple. They\'re messy. I have a cousin who divorced both of her husbands but never stopped loving either one. Even years later. But that was her, lots of people put these things behind them and go on to make better lives. I really think you dodged a bullet (another unintended pun!) when you didn\'t get pregnant. No way to ever really get divorced when you have a kid together. As hard as this is, it\'s much easier than having to share a kid for the rest of your lives together. In the end, it\'s nice that there\'s no hard feelings. Peace is always better than war, right? But it definitely is odd.
Have a fantastic time at Torch lake!
My farewell meal was lunch after church, the in-laws were hoping we would reconcile, maybe that\'s what yours are thinkin too.