Strength. It really is a cool thing when you actually feel it rushing thru your veins. I feel it. Maybe it's the bacardi cus I just poured myself a strong one to unwind. No. I had this before the drink. I had a show last nite (yes, I am a candle lady) It went great! I felt alive. I had people laughing and interacting and I felt like I did before. Before the depth of depression reared its ugly head. Before I knew I could make it as a single woman. Before I finally had my wishes granted. I will take almost $100 from this show for a couple hours of work. The bummer is I just got word to file for unemployment tomorrow. It doesnt mean that I am laid off. In fact I may still get some hours this week. But it means the worst is still coming. My job is fickle. The second year I was an electrician I made $40,000. I thougt I was sooo cool. A job where I could basically wear jammies and noone would care. A job where I could be dirty and it wasnt a big deal. And the eye candy. Well lets just say I am a lucky straight lady. Its common to think of only Lesbians being interested in jobs like this. Oh no... seriously. 80 degrees and they all take their shirt off. And yes. They are worthy of being shirtless. But last year I was laid off in August. I broke my foot labor day weekend which really blew cus my disablitly insurance went away with the paycheck. I was laid off until March. Besides the candles I had no income. 'cept the uneployment which isnt much. it certainly wont pay the mortgage. But, on the plus side, my co-worker... the only one left... put in his two weeks. And while he is a great worker (and yes, eye candy) I thin kthis is good. It means his van will be freed up which means either I get it or the company will sell it and have a little more money. I will have more responsibility... which means a raise and more hours if the work presents itself. I thin kit will suck for a while, but I think it could be good. My cousin also runs an electrical company. Sadly he is prolly closin shop. But he might come work with us and we can go after his builder! I have been praying so hard. And, while God is Good (ALL THE TIME!!! shout-out to Pastor Griffin there...) I have really felt him in my life. I have recieved hope... I have recieved freedom... I have recieved STRENGTH. I added up what it will cost me to live alone. $2750/month. If I work full time I bring home $2800/month. Wish me luck! My song for the day. This is fun. I thin kI am gonna make it my 'thing'My taste varies...Rascal Flatts lyrics Feels Like Today(Feels Like Today album)I Woke Up This MorningWith This Feeling Inside Me That I Can't ExplainLike A Weight That I've CarriedBeen Carried Away, AwayBut I Know Something Is ComingI Don't Know What It IsBut I Know It's Amazing, You Save MeMy Time Is ComingAnd I'll Find My Way Out Of This Longest DroughtIt Feels Like Today I Know It Feels Like Today I'm SureIts The One Thing That's Missin'The One Thing Your're Wishin'The Last Sacred Blessin'It Feels Like TodayFeels Like TodayYou Treat Life Like A PictureBut Its Not A Moment Frozen In TimeIt's Not Gonna WaitTil You Make Up Your Mind, At AllSo While This Storm Is BreakingWhile There's Light At The End Of The TunnelKeep Running Towards ItReleasing The Pressure, That's My HeartacheSoon This Dam Will BreakAnd It Feels Like TodayI Know, It Feels Like Today, I'm SureIts The One Thing That's Missin'The One Thing You're Wishin'The Last Sacred Blessin'It Feels Like TodayFeels Like TodayAnd It Feels Like TodayI Know, It Feels Like Today, I'm SureIts The One Thing That's Missin'The One Thing You're Wishin'The Last Sacred Blessin'It Feels Like TodayFeels Like, Feels Like Your Life ChangesFeels Like Feels Like Your Life ChangesIts The One Thing That's Missin'The One Thing You're Wishin'The Last Sacred Blessin'Feels Like TodayFeels Like Feels Like Your Life ChangesFeels Like Feels Like Your Life ChangesToday is good.