"Busy"
busy you have no idea how well i know that word
i know it all too well one of the reasons me and sara are over is because I was always "too busy" sigh too fucking busy I had time for everything; the heroin, the drug addicted loser junkie friends, my illegal side businesses, in fact I even had time for quickies but I was too busy to be around when she needed help or wanted to cuddle or just sit and talk sigh too "busy" for that.
How ironic it is the turn of the tide how ironic indeed, almost feels like destiny is playing a cruel joke on me I think God is sitting up there somewhere laughing at me, enjoying my misery as I squirm and struggle fighting against impossible odds trying to stay afloat. Trying to stay sane...
I now have all the time in the world; no friends, no heroin, no real job prospects or future, I have nothing to do all day but sit online and dick around but the world has moved on it is now busy.
oh how i do hate that word busy!!!
Everyone around me now has a life; school or university or family commitments or a job and me? what do I have? I have nothing nothing at all I sit here all day twiddling my thumbs planning and dreaming of how I too will get "busy" someday how I too will have a life again and be back on top but they are all plans all dreams, they mean nothing!!! They amount to nothing.
Sometimes I think I shouldnt dream or plan it feels like I am just setting myself up to get hurt I know full well they wont materialize or at least are highly unrealistic and thus very improbable to materialize but then again if I do not have hope what do I have? No hope is all I have; hope that I will someday get out of this shit hole and leave this miserable lonely pathetic excuse of a life behind and I must have faith in God, faith that the lord is just and that he will deliver me from this torment that his mercy is greater than his wrath. His wrath is indeed like a scortching fire but his mercy it is like water it flows from heaven as Shakespeare put it "The quality of mercy is not strained. It droppeth as the gentle rain from heaven Upon the place beneath."
Oh dear God please show me mercy let the suffering end let good times return
Amen
i know it all too well one of the reasons me and sara are over is because I was always "too busy" sigh too fucking busy I had time for everything; the heroin, the drug addicted loser junkie friends, my illegal side businesses, in fact I even had time for quickies but I was too busy to be around when she needed help or wanted to cuddle or just sit and talk sigh too "busy" for that.
How ironic it is the turn of the tide how ironic indeed, almost feels like destiny is playing a cruel joke on me I think God is sitting up there somewhere laughing at me, enjoying my misery as I squirm and struggle fighting against impossible odds trying to stay afloat. Trying to stay sane...
I now have all the time in the world; no friends, no heroin, no real job prospects or future, I have nothing to do all day but sit online and dick around but the world has moved on it is now busy.
oh how i do hate that word busy!!!
Everyone around me now has a life; school or university or family commitments or a job and me? what do I have? I have nothing nothing at all I sit here all day twiddling my thumbs planning and dreaming of how I too will get "busy" someday how I too will have a life again and be back on top but they are all plans all dreams, they mean nothing!!! They amount to nothing.
Sometimes I think I shouldnt dream or plan it feels like I am just setting myself up to get hurt I know full well they wont materialize or at least are highly unrealistic and thus very improbable to materialize but then again if I do not have hope what do I have? No hope is all I have; hope that I will someday get out of this shit hole and leave this miserable lonely pathetic excuse of a life behind and I must have faith in God, faith that the lord is just and that he will deliver me from this torment that his mercy is greater than his wrath. His wrath is indeed like a scortching fire but his mercy it is like water it flows from heaven as Shakespeare put it "The quality of mercy is not strained. It droppeth as the gentle rain from heaven Upon the place beneath."
Oh dear God please show me mercy let the suffering end let good times return
Amen
Replies
never give up hope shendel. one day at a time...pray!
never give up hope shendel. one day at a time...pray!
Yeah about that im pretty sure I dont pray to your god or jesus christ or any of them lot Im more of a heathen god kinda guy