I do have to admit that I do sometimes witdraw a little even when things are going well. I can get overwhelmed and feel I am running out of time and run out of time and feel like I don't have time to do certain things justice. Sometimes things like coming here because I fear I won't be able to take the time to read the messages from the people here who are dear to me. Since I don't want to quickly skim over something so important I might put it off 'til the next morning when I am awake. But then I end up not sleeping and wake up at 2 or 3 pm or later and need to race to get the necessities of life done. Then I have to race out to any meeting I have. Before I know it it is 4am like it is now and I should be trying to sleep because I got exhausted again. Then after a day or two I am overwhelmed a bit by how fast the time has passed since I was last here and I worry about my friends here and worry that they might be concerned about me.Of course that can become one of those positive feedback loops which feed on themselves. But I can break out if I have half a chance to take a breather. It is also a reason why I need to take more breathers than most people do in their lives. A reason why I have to take things just a little slower and more methodically.But I try to get the important things done. I try not to need to do them by triage.But it is as I said, 4am.I will post this journal entry and then turn off Malibu, my computer and turn off the lights and listen to a half hour of "The Secret Garden" on audio book from LibriVox before sleeping.Later Friends and Friends I haven't met yet.~ Darrell
Replies
I know exactly what you mean by postponing things simply because there isn\'t enough time alotted. I\'ve been doing that a lot with my feeling and resentments. I\'ve been wanting to journal deep down inside and get this stuff out but I\'m afraid I won\'t have enough time once I get started and I don\'t want to interrupt those moments. That\'s what my mind says anyway, part of it I think is that I\'m afraid. Once I write those things down they become real. I feel like a walking time bomb. Anyway take care
I\'m so sorry that you are feeling overwhelmed. i know that can be a panic feeling. i will say some prayers for you........debbie
Darrell, i tend to feel that way sometimes too. You do need to get things done like you said though. Take a deep breath and think about organizing a list of things in order of importance. You can always post a quick comment to your friends that quickly explains you are tired and love us. We understand and love you regardles...Have a great day.
Today a friend on the phone said I sounded like my normal cheeky self and asked if I did anything special during the day.
I had to really think. In truth this is the first day I had for quite a while without any obligation - not even a TV series I wanted to follow - and so I could simply relax.
I guess then I could just be myself for the first time in a little bit.
Of course I also NEED the rest and will have to rest tomorrow too I think. I mean other than a little writing like this.
Thanks for the caring! :-)
One step at a time is how to get through the times of overwhelm-ment. That and simplifying life at the worst times.
~ Darrell