wow
Yep so hubby did just what I fgured he would do, what I was told by two counselors on the crisis line and by the counselor I began seeing last week.
He is taking all his money out of the banks and making it hard for us to survive.
I tried to get some medical care and some meds the other day and could not use the spending account for our copays and such. And the night before, the kids had told him I had a doc appointment the next day. He told me good luck on my doc appointment, before we got off the phone. Now I know he was being sarcastic. I thought he was, so I hesitated when he said it, but eventually I said thanks. Now I know my gut instinct was right.
So I am submitting the app for Medicaid, although I also had to submit a form to get child support from him with that, since he is not in the home. I admit I had to psych myself up to fill it out. Kept reminding myself that the kids and I will need medical care, as one of them has chronic pain and sometimes blood pressure spikes, another is always getting colds/the flu, and two of them have asthma. And above all, they are kids. Kids get sick, they get hurt. We need help and I am not in the position to work at the present.
I know he is not a fan of child support, not at all no matter what, so I was still thinking if he gave us a chance to talk maybe he would consider just keeping the kids financially ok, voluntarily. Doesn't have to help me but at least the kids. Still thinking I didn't want to hurt him in case he's wised up and tries to help us. Still concerned about him I suppose...BUT...
He was supposed to get paid either Wed or Thurs, and nothing went into any of our joint accounts, or any of the kids' accounts. Does he not see that it looks bad on him to do that?? I mean it makes my case stronger, and it's like he doesn't even realize that. And I certainly hope he is not trying to quit his jobs or move his money so that he is not found, because the gov will find you. Since he wants to continue to talk to them and all, I don't think that is the case. He plans to get these kids from me.
But he can't be concerned about the kids as much as he says on the phone...and that was why I began trying to just about stock up on meds and the kids' care before we left. Because why not wait til you actually get the kids, then cut me off??
And then he gets on the phone with the kids or sends me text messages telling the kids how much he loves and misses them, all proud papa, loving and devoted. You should hear him. But how can you love them and then take away my ability to provide for them, knowing my condition??
Well as I told my mom, I think he is trying to get the kids, feels I won't do anything or have anything to stand on about him, since he didn't hit me, I will have no way to take care of them or myself, and then the last thing to take from me would be the cell phone, and then maybe even change his number. Cut all ties, write me off and out of his life. And if I try to contact, act as if I am not trying, or do like he used to do - stand me up for arranged meetings.
My mom's phone and mine are on his cell account. He won't see any need to contact me once he has the kids. I got us some free phones yesterday, in case he cuts ours off before then, though I doubt he will. But I am praying that once I finally have had all this proof looked at by the law, he won't be able to just get the kids that easily.
On another quick note, I did set up physical and mental therapies for myself but I am looking for good counseling for the kids, and not just anybody either. Because in the midst of all this, they need it too. I finally told them that my health was not the only reason we left. I told them that mommy and daddy needed time apart, but one of them ("daddy's girl") overheard me telling my mom some details about our marriage and now she is really confused about who her father was/is. I know for a fact she is telling her siblings things that she heard.
So I have been trying to soften it. But how, really? Your daddy cheated and that is it. Your daddy threatened to hit me and that is it. When he was yelling in my face and showing me his fist, it was what it was. Yes he hit walls and furniture. Yes he told me many hurtful things. Yes he told me to get out many times, encouraged me to abandon the family, let him keep the kids. Yes it all happened.
And yes, even though we both love them to no end, we might get a divorce.
All this stress.
He is taking all his money out of the banks and making it hard for us to survive.
I tried to get some medical care and some meds the other day and could not use the spending account for our copays and such. And the night before, the kids had told him I had a doc appointment the next day. He told me good luck on my doc appointment, before we got off the phone. Now I know he was being sarcastic. I thought he was, so I hesitated when he said it, but eventually I said thanks. Now I know my gut instinct was right.
So I am submitting the app for Medicaid, although I also had to submit a form to get child support from him with that, since he is not in the home. I admit I had to psych myself up to fill it out. Kept reminding myself that the kids and I will need medical care, as one of them has chronic pain and sometimes blood pressure spikes, another is always getting colds/the flu, and two of them have asthma. And above all, they are kids. Kids get sick, they get hurt. We need help and I am not in the position to work at the present.
I know he is not a fan of child support, not at all no matter what, so I was still thinking if he gave us a chance to talk maybe he would consider just keeping the kids financially ok, voluntarily. Doesn't have to help me but at least the kids. Still thinking I didn't want to hurt him in case he's wised up and tries to help us. Still concerned about him I suppose...BUT...
He was supposed to get paid either Wed or Thurs, and nothing went into any of our joint accounts, or any of the kids' accounts. Does he not see that it looks bad on him to do that?? I mean it makes my case stronger, and it's like he doesn't even realize that. And I certainly hope he is not trying to quit his jobs or move his money so that he is not found, because the gov will find you. Since he wants to continue to talk to them and all, I don't think that is the case. He plans to get these kids from me.
But he can't be concerned about the kids as much as he says on the phone...and that was why I began trying to just about stock up on meds and the kids' care before we left. Because why not wait til you actually get the kids, then cut me off??
And then he gets on the phone with the kids or sends me text messages telling the kids how much he loves and misses them, all proud papa, loving and devoted. You should hear him. But how can you love them and then take away my ability to provide for them, knowing my condition??
Well as I told my mom, I think he is trying to get the kids, feels I won't do anything or have anything to stand on about him, since he didn't hit me, I will have no way to take care of them or myself, and then the last thing to take from me would be the cell phone, and then maybe even change his number. Cut all ties, write me off and out of his life. And if I try to contact, act as if I am not trying, or do like he used to do - stand me up for arranged meetings.
My mom's phone and mine are on his cell account. He won't see any need to contact me once he has the kids. I got us some free phones yesterday, in case he cuts ours off before then, though I doubt he will. But I am praying that once I finally have had all this proof looked at by the law, he won't be able to just get the kids that easily.
On another quick note, I did set up physical and mental therapies for myself but I am looking for good counseling for the kids, and not just anybody either. Because in the midst of all this, they need it too. I finally told them that my health was not the only reason we left. I told them that mommy and daddy needed time apart, but one of them ("daddy's girl") overheard me telling my mom some details about our marriage and now she is really confused about who her father was/is. I know for a fact she is telling her siblings things that she heard.
So I have been trying to soften it. But how, really? Your daddy cheated and that is it. Your daddy threatened to hit me and that is it. When he was yelling in my face and showing me his fist, it was what it was. Yes he hit walls and furniture. Yes he told me many hurtful things. Yes he told me to get out many times, encouraged me to abandon the family, let him keep the kids. Yes it all happened.
And yes, even though we both love them to no end, we might get a divorce.
All this stress.
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