Sad

So laying in my bed to night feeling I'm not really sure. Our Friday night get together was great as always, but my friends knew I had my antibody test. Now they haven't witness me with symptoms of MG & I have voided talking about it in front of my husband. The look in is eyes is so hard to see. He has always been my hero. He was there when I went from being a healthy 13 year old to some one who couldn't eat or drink without choking, use a public bathroom because you can't pull your own pants up or be the only one who can understand what you are saying when your voice fells you. He knows all the horribleness of this disease & now that its reared its ugly head I see the fear even if he doesn't want me to know. I know it sounds crazy, but being sick it was embarrassing. Diverting your eyes so know one could see them drooping or cross eyed, covering your mouth so they didn't see your snarl smile. These memories are as fresh today as if it was yesterday. I knew no one like me when I was still having symptoms & I have told my girlfriends about my illness & they will be there for me always, but to have them go though this with me is just hard. This time around there is some one like me, who knows your sadness, the scariness of it & the thrill of those good days. Thank you for everyone on here, you make it easier to get through this again.