25% of all relationships (any kind of "relationship") are abusive
Abuse can be emotional, physical, mental and financial and it can come from any KIND of relationship. Are any of the people around you abusive? These are toxic people. "1. Name Calling Calling someone names is an attempt to lower self-esteem as is the intent of abusive techniques. Verbal remarks such as "idiot," "ugly," "stupid" and "crybaby," among others, hurt as much, if not more, than physical blows. Words wound the heart, not the body. 2. Spying Going through a person's purse, wallet, files, computer hard-drive and cell phone history; sending someone with you as you go out for the evening just to keep an eye on you; and showing up when you are out with your friends--all are examples of spying, jealousy and distrust. When your privacy is continually invaded and your computer habits tracked or phone calls questioned, you are being abused. 3. Control Over Your Time Someone requiring you to be home right after work or someone who insists on picking you up at work and dropping you off are not signs of caring, but rather signs of control and abuse. When the abuser wants to know where you are every minute of the day and requires frequent check-ins, it is because they believe their control over you may be threatened. 4. Prohibiting Friendships Cutting you off from your friends and family is the abuser's way of cutting you off from your support system. Tearing someone away from support weakens a person.
It's what animals of prey do to the weakest member of the herd. Then they move in for the kill. Abusive people are predators.5. Controlling Money Taking your paycheck and not allowing money for necessities is a common way of keeping the victim close to the abuser. If you do not have enough money for food and clothing, you will not have enough money to leave. There are ways to get away without money, and many times once you leave and take your cash with you, the abuser also leaves and moves onto the next victim. 6. Forced Sex Forcing someone to have sex when they do not want it, even if it's your spouse, is rape.
In most states, spousal rape is a felony. Forced sex is not love and can leave deep emotional scars in addition to physical harm. 7. Threats Threats of violence toward you, your children, friends or family members, is abuse. The abuser seeks to intimidate you into submission by playing upon your fear. Fear is a terrific motivator and abusers know it well. It is the most often used weapon in an abusive relationship. 8. Accusations Accusing you of flirting, of being interested in someone else, of being out with someone else--frequently these are behaviors projected onto you that the abuser is, or would be willing to engage in, themselves. Most commonly accusations are an excuse to begin physical violence. 9. Forced Drug Use Engaging in illegal behavior of drug use is an easy way to force an abuse victim into submission. While under the influence of drugs or alcohol, the victim is not able to fight back or control what it happening. This abuse technique may be followed by forced sex with the abuser or with multiple partners of the abuser's choosing. 10. Physical Violence The most common form of abuse is, of course, physical violence. Every day emergency rooms are filled with victims of domestic violence. ER personnel always hope to finally reach the victims and help them escape their violent situations. One of the classic signs of physical abuse, however, often isn't visible to anyone but the victim when they are standing naked in front of the mirror. An extremely clever abuser will not strike their victim in an area that is not covered by clothing. If no one ever questions, "where did you get that," how will anyone ever know the truth of the relationship? No questioning means no support and no one understanding what is happening. What It All Comes Down to.... Abusive relationships are more common than you may think.
One in four relationships, carries some form of abuse. It takes strength and support from loved ones and/or friends to stand up for yourself
It's what animals of prey do to the weakest member of the herd. Then they move in for the kill. Abusive people are predators.5. Controlling Money Taking your paycheck and not allowing money for necessities is a common way of keeping the victim close to the abuser. If you do not have enough money for food and clothing, you will not have enough money to leave. There are ways to get away without money, and many times once you leave and take your cash with you, the abuser also leaves and moves onto the next victim. 6. Forced Sex Forcing someone to have sex when they do not want it, even if it's your spouse, is rape.
In most states, spousal rape is a felony. Forced sex is not love and can leave deep emotional scars in addition to physical harm. 7. Threats Threats of violence toward you, your children, friends or family members, is abuse. The abuser seeks to intimidate you into submission by playing upon your fear. Fear is a terrific motivator and abusers know it well. It is the most often used weapon in an abusive relationship. 8. Accusations Accusing you of flirting, of being interested in someone else, of being out with someone else--frequently these are behaviors projected onto you that the abuser is, or would be willing to engage in, themselves. Most commonly accusations are an excuse to begin physical violence. 9. Forced Drug Use Engaging in illegal behavior of drug use is an easy way to force an abuse victim into submission. While under the influence of drugs or alcohol, the victim is not able to fight back or control what it happening. This abuse technique may be followed by forced sex with the abuser or with multiple partners of the abuser's choosing. 10. Physical Violence The most common form of abuse is, of course, physical violence. Every day emergency rooms are filled with victims of domestic violence. ER personnel always hope to finally reach the victims and help them escape their violent situations. One of the classic signs of physical abuse, however, often isn't visible to anyone but the victim when they are standing naked in front of the mirror. An extremely clever abuser will not strike their victim in an area that is not covered by clothing. If no one ever questions, "where did you get that," how will anyone ever know the truth of the relationship? No questioning means no support and no one understanding what is happening. What It All Comes Down to.... Abusive relationships are more common than you may think.
One in four relationships, carries some form of abuse. It takes strength and support from loved ones and/or friends to stand up for yourself
Replies
our former supervisor is guilty of every single one of these \"types\" of abuse. its amazing. i still think everyone here is still recovering from ptsd just from knowing that guy.
How horrible for all of you.
words can do so much damage.
This is an awesome service to all....to post this 79!! I don\'t think people realize how many different ways their loved ones\" try and control them. Most people think, you have to get punched to be an abuse victim. Nothing could be further from the truth!
Glad you posted this. Hope lots of people see it...even if they don\'t leave a comment!
yeah, he was easily guilty of 8 of the ten, and with the sex shit, it was lies and comments and hitting on people. poisoning as common as it is you don\'t expect it anywhere, what a woos of a crime.
he stole two of my bonuses, still haven\'t been reimbursed...its amazing how much crap he pulled, people were always getting ill and it wasn\'t just because people have blood pressure troubles or because of his bullying, it was more violent, including poisoning food, if he brought food in and he was a great cook, most people wouldn\'t try it. they were right too.
all i keep thinking is the zillion talks when i was in my teens and onward, if a good person doesn\'t take the leadership job, then an evil person will and that is worse. so true. i look at this list, i look at the list on bullies at work and i\'m STUNNED it goes on at all. a hundred years ago or even 50 it was even more common. they used to call him a relic. that people like that don\'t exist in most places anymore. it really went on for too long. amazing it goes on at all. but i\'ve seen it before. i usually manage to just get myself out of the situation quick, but with this, he made it convenient to stay, while still doing all this crap, and why do it at all?
even the prohibiting friendships thing, his lying and deceit, but also he would get people\'s addresses from personnel and show up and got caught doing this a couple of times. it never seemed to occur to him that what he was doing was stalking and totally illegal. people even called the police on him. our managers in orlando said they received complaints on him all the time. so why let him stay at all. they also think if he wasn\'t eased out and was fired instead he would have gone postal on whoever was here. what a nutjob. definitely not missed at all.