25 and how PCOS has ruined my life...for now

This is my first entry... Where to start My intro on the pro tells a little. to get into it by the time i was 18 my parents where splitting up and I had yet been taken to the doctor over my not having a period. I was prob well a lot over weight.... So i went and I was told I had a form of PCOS.. What is that?! I had no idea... They started me off on birth control hoping that my period would start..Well, im 25 and no period. I have gone to doctors and was seeing a fertility specialist. He is awesome but I can not afford to see him at this time. I am supposed to be on metformin but I hated it when i was on it. Made me so sick and no one understood. No one in my family really understands how much I hurt. I am told oh you just need to work harder, diet more, your just being lazy, and no one knows my struggle. Trying to loose weight with PCOS is harder then people know and on top of it being depressed and no one seeing it. Being depressed and trying to loose weight is a never ending battle.. I lose some then I gain it back sometimes I feel like im being punished. I see so many people with children and it makes my heart hurt. I love my sister dearly and she knows my struggle, but she is due next month with my niece Molly. It kills me because she NEVER wanted children.. When she found out she was pregnant with my niece Ella she talked about abortion because she wasn't married, wasn't expecting to get pregnant, didn't want a child, and wasn't really with the father. It killed me and I tried so hard not to hate her at the time but it was so hard, but I kept my feelings to myself. My sister was in a terrible place at the time and I know she would have such a different life if she would have because Ella is her life. Sorry Rambling.... I just dont understand how people can be so ungrateful and my sister isnt the only. My best friend got her kids taken away and it was a struggle trying to be supportive in her process of getting back on her feet because i knew then she wasnt going to stay that way. 
My doctor tells me and never asks my question when i ask how likely is it it will never happen? he always tells me with help i can get you pregnant.. your young you dont want children at the moment.. I do I want children now If i wasnt so messed up inside i know i would already have one or maybe two. My mom just repeats the doctors words when i stress about maybe never having a child. What I just wanted was the hard truth that it may not happen.. It doesnt for everyone sometimes the treatments fail...but no one will and its hard to cope with things that i know in my heart are there but arent being said...