Friday, February 29, 2008

Hey, sorry it's been so long since I've been on this site.....I've been really busy. Well, I guess I've been doing alright. I do have acouple things that are on my mind. First, I finally have my first, boy friend, and he's a GREAT guy. I just have alot of insecuritys that are really bothering me. It sounds stupid, but everytime I see a really beautiful girl I think why isn't he with them instead of me. I can't seem to get those thoughts out of my head. It makes me extremely sad. Then my Best friend Samantha is roomates with him, and his mom, and even tho I know nothing would happen between them it still bothers me. I have talked to him about it, and he promises nothing will ever happen.  I just don't want to seem like a crazy jealous G/F for one...lol. I have never been jealous of anyone in my entire life, that just isn't me. It's driving me insane. I know I can trust him, however he did make one rude comment that really hurt me. He has apologized a million times for it, but it still is behind my every thought. I was living with the 3 of them for awhile, but moved back home to take care of some money problems. Well, when I told him my plan to move back to my parents. He said: "Well, if you leave I'll just be forced to spend more time with Samantha." Keep in mind he knew about my insecuritys. The first thought that popped in my head was a$$ hole. I was pi$$ed!!!!!!! He really is a great guy tho, he said he only said that b/c he was upset. Then I told him I wasn't putting up with this crap, and he promised not to say anything like that again. (Time will tell) I'm just not happy with my appearance, and I have no idea why he would choose me out of all the girls in the world. It makes me sad to think this way, but I can't help. But, until I stop thinking this way I will never truly be happy.......:(