I'm feeling suicidal. I don't know what to do. The feelings of the panic attack are coming in at the same time I feel utter loneliness. Every potential relationship just falls through the ground. I'm not meant 2 be with anyone. If i was ,I'd be with someone right now.
Maybe I'm not meant to be here. SEriously. Why would I want to? Go throug life's pain? There's too much here on earth anyways. Better off not being here and not feeling any of it. u know?
I have a friend who said to just settle with someone. Meaning, even if I don't really like the guy. I might just try that. 
There is this one quote I read from Mother Teresa: "Loneliness and the feeling of being unwanted is the most terrible poverty." 
I don't like this feeling. I hate it! I don't even have real friends. They're hardly ever there for me. I only talk to them a few times a week. I really don't have anyone to talk to. They're busy anyways, supposedly with their kids, bf, etc. But are they really THAT busy that they can't talk to me at least every other day for maybe 15 minutes? I'm jealous of the women who are single yet they have friends that have kids and they make time for them and call them regularly to see how they're doing. NONE of my friends do that! Maybe once a month at the least.
What's wrong with me? I really don't think I"m meant to be here. My own mother even said I wasn't planned. 
I don't want to be here anymore. I'm sorry I ever was.