Well, I'm back home and I like it much better. I don't know what it is. Well, for one thing, I stopped smoking cigs now! At least that. I just feel lonely now. All I do is go to school, come home, watch TV, but I have noone to hang out with. Now none of my friends call me to do anything. One good friend of mine that I know would hang out with me lives 6 hours away. Another has two kids and goes to school. Another one has 3 kids and is a single mom. Whenever I call her, she always tells me that she's sorry for not hanging out with me cuz she's so busy with her kids, but then yet she tells me that she sometimes hangs out with her co-workers to have drinks! If she could hang out with them, why can't she not with me? I really feel like none wants me to be around. I have some so-called friends that I'm always having to initiate the call or the invite, and then they get all fired up about hanging out, but when it actually comes down to it, they back out. WTF!!! I've already tried to go to a meetup group out here to make some friends, but none of them wanted to. I don't get it. People say I'm friendly, yet they don't make the effort to hang out with me or call me to say hello. I'm so upset. I feel like people don't like me. I don't know why. I feel doomed to be lonely forever. I don't even know why I came back then. But whatever. Maybe I bring out a bad vibe or something even when I want to be friendly. I will never understand why people don't like me.  I'm seriously worried that I might turn "crazy" from not being around anyone to socialize with.