Gosh, school started yesterday and I'm in no mood to do any homework. Everyone tells me how lucky I am to have a mom who helps me out financially with school and that I should be happy. But sometimes I don't. I feel empty inside.     Sometime in early Nov. when I was last online, I met someone on a dating site and we hit it off soo good! The problem was that he lived all the way in New York while I live here in Hawaii! But we continued to talk and txt each other for 3 weeks and it seemed too intense for me. The more we talked the more I wanted him, to see him, to hug him!! It was driving me nuts!! Every morning he would txt me and throughout the day he would either text me or call me and we would talk for hours! He would tell me that he wanted to meet me one day and would like for us to be together as bf and gf!      But alittle after the third week, I started to get this weird feeling that he was talking to another girl, so to get rid of the possibility of getting hurt bad, I told him I didn't want to talk to him anymore! He asked why and I lied telling him that the distance was too far for us! And when I told him that, he sounded sooo hurt! He told me that it didn't "sound like me". I didn't want to admit that it was because I thought he was talking to another girl since that would make me look insecure to him.     But after hanging up with him, I changed my mind because I really liked (or love, I dunno anymore) him and didn't wanna lose him! I told him I wanted to give us another chance and he said ok, but I was breathing hard on the phone and I think he sensed that I was scared to give into him (even though right then and then I think I already did).    After a few days, it seemed like he didn't call/txt me as much as before. Then one day I texted him and he didn't respond back like usual, so I kept on texting him over and over again asking what's wrong and then I got impatient and texted him "nevermind then!" After that, I realized that he wasn't going to contact me anymore. I think I was too demanding and needy at that point. I don't know.    It's been two months now and I'm still not over him! I mean, I 've never even met the guy and here I am in love with him! Or I think it's love. I'm lost here. I texted him a few days ago and he texted me back with "Sorry, I don't know who this is..." I was crushed!! The thing is, my stubborn heart still wants him and won't give up!!!     I'm so heartbroken now. I wake up every morning thinking of him and how things could've been had I not told him that I didn't wanna keep contact with him.  I feel like I lost a good thing..