I'm feeling so freakin numb right now! I miss all my friends from Cali! I've been here for 3 months now and I don't know what it is, but I'm constantly forgetting things!! I mean, I've obviously forgotten things from time to time like everyone else, but it's really bad! I get enough sleep at night and I eat right. So now I'm wondering wtf it is?? Maybe it's the weather? I don't know... I feel so lost and I hardly know anyone here on this island! I keep in contact with my friends from Cali on Myspace, but it's not the same. I hardly have anyone to hang out with during my free time on the weekends! I joined this school club and they throw special events every other weekend. I went to one (for a bake sale I volunteered for), and it seemed pretty fun. Now there's a pool party that they're throwing (ahh!!) in two weeks for a social event so I'll be attending that too. The thing is, I feel like I have no "real" friends. You know, people that can relate to me or that I can relate to and be completely myself around. Why can't people accept me for who I am and still be friends with me for who I am? I noticed that some people who were my friends in the past stopped hanging out me less often because of my panic attacks (since I really can't drink and sometimes it causes my panic attacks to start up). It's like they would invite me to a bar or pub or club but then I tell them that I can't really drink and they slowly stop hanging out with me or just don't hang out with me as much as before. I mean, I wish I could have a drink at least once a week, but I get scared that my attacks might come on! Sometimes they do and sometimes they don't when I have a few drinks...it's a gamble I tell you!
Replies
hey sweetie... i\'m so sorry you\'re having such a hard time there. I think the forgetfullness is from stress and probably a little bit of depression. please just hang in there. It takes time to adapt to new surroundings. the friends you had who wouldn\'t hang out because you can\'t drink really aren\'t friends at all. I know that something is better than nothing, but they weren\'t helping you any. I\'m glad you\'re going to the parties and functions, that\'s the only way you\'ll be able to find people who will eventually become true friends. friendships have to be worked at, just like relationships. You are beautiful and wonderful, everything will come.
many hugs my sweet friend!
candy
Hey hun,i agree with Candy,i am so sorry you are having such a hard time right now.Also,if they want you to drink and you know you can\'t then they are NOT your friends and it is there lost ,not yours.You are such a sweet person and who needs firends who want to frink all the time.I am also glad you are getting out and going to these functions,you may meet some real friends there.You keep hanging on sweetie,things will get better for you.You are beautiful and a wonderful person,things will get better for you,just wait and see.I love you sweetie,and you are in my prayers.I have had the flu,i am over it now,and feeling a lot better.Know you are not alone,and keep that head up,you are worth the wait for the right person.love you sweetie,SHEA.....XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX