Stuck

Feeling stuck.  I need to make some major changes in my life which include dissolving my marriage.  That is not my wish, my wish is that for my husband to make some changes and start showing support and respect.....doesn't look like it is going to happen.  I have been trying for over 3 yrs and he doesn't even want to talk about it.
He has not only lost respect for me but he is taking advantage of me, using me to some degree, and is a major enabler in my life. 
I am afraid of change.  I'm afraid that it is not the answer. I'm afraid that I will still be unhappy.  I am too old to start over and have to struggle again.
Almost all of my worries and problems stem from being in a relationship with him.The sadness, turmoil, and depression can be pretty much all traced back to how I am living.
My home has been taken over. Is in disrepair, dirty, and a dungeon right now. I am so unhappy with the current situation.
I can't believe how much he has changed since we married 14 1/2 years ago.  When did he lose respect?  When did he stop caring?  When did he start lying?  What caused it?
I am tired of hoping things will get better.  They don't.  I am tired of trying to protect our marriage. One person can not do it alone. 
I don't like the thought of losing but I know it is what is best.

Feeling sad, disappointed, beat, and used.