I guess most have figured out that I made my escape but due to his health getting worse
He has moved in with me. Right or wrong ...both...sometimes I feel I had it made then I know
He has no one else to care for him. He is like my sick child temper trantrums and selfish but he does have a good heart. I know he loves me and I still love him...sometimes I can't stand to be in the same room though.
Like a little bit ago he was sound asleep and he calls me ..He had a bad dream had him shaking all over. I had to lay down with him to calm him. He is ok now. I know his body is getting weaker every day . I am waiting for the worst to happen. He has lost so much weight and lost his appetite. No matter what I fix he will only take a few bites .it hurts me to watch him suffer so bad with this. He has to help himself ..He just does not see that.
Wishing all a Very Merry Christmas and a wonderful year filled with many blessings
He has moved in with me. Right or wrong ...both...sometimes I feel I had it made then I know
He has no one else to care for him. He is like my sick child temper trantrums and selfish but he does have a good heart. I know he loves me and I still love him...sometimes I can't stand to be in the same room though.
Like a little bit ago he was sound asleep and he calls me ..He had a bad dream had him shaking all over. I had to lay down with him to calm him. He is ok now. I know his body is getting weaker every day . I am waiting for the worst to happen. He has lost so much weight and lost his appetite. No matter what I fix he will only take a few bites .it hurts me to watch him suffer so bad with this. He has to help himself ..He just does not see that.
Wishing all a Very Merry Christmas and a wonderful year filled with many blessings
Replies
Just feel like the dumbest person on Earth. I moved away from my husband for peace and quiet. Then after his last surgery allowed him to come live with me because he has no one else to take care of him. When he is not drinking
He is not so bad. But he inasmuch such negativity life is always bad. It just bring me down too. I have to stay away from the house to find a smile and kind word. I am just stuck in a hole now. I feel bad with my thoughts that I would not care even if he really hurt him self badly. I don\'t wish that on him but I just want the bad person to leave and the good one to come back..
Hey Bonnie...I want to tell you. I can\'t exactly recall HOW many times I moved to be away from the insanity, only to have him living there with me within 6 months, and usually within 1-3 months . I\'m sure probably at least 10 or more times. We invest in and sacrifice for so long....it\'s really hard to throw in the towel. We hope ! We don\'t want that awful feeling that we invested so many years and then gave up before the end! Did we waste all those years? We develop a sort of version of Stockholm syndrome with them because they WONT go away. Anyway, I feel where you\'re coming from. Now my love passed, I\'m so confused. Even grieving their loss is VERY complicated. May the Lord bless you and your husband! Hugs, Laurie
We get so used to caring for them, helping, protecting them! It\'s SO HARD loving an alcoholic.
Big Hug for a new day..I can only imagine how you feel now
The loss of a man you love ..right or wrong he is still a big part of your life. I know people tell me to kick him out, but I could not do that I know he is sick physically and mentally but he is alone. I get mad at times but I forgive.
Sometimes I wonder how life would be without him ..I tried before but I was still worrying myself sick. I could not find any
Peace. I felt alful that I was not taking care of him
When I dad died I remember my mom just sitting by herself in deep thought. Not crying just puzzled. I did not totally understand at that time but as the years passed. After years of caring for a alcholic all the abuse and pain she was relived it was over. She could now go to sleep at night not worrying if the police would knock on her door with bad news or Dad would be waking her wanting money for alcohol.
It\'s a bitter sweet. It\'s hard for us as survivors to find our happiness after years of turmoil.
I here anytime
Take care ...have a blessed day