“Nothing that is complete breathes.” -Antonio Porchia, Voces, 1943, translated from Spanish by W.S. MerwinI had a very good day today. It was beautiful weather wise. Nice, warm, and with a nice breeze coming through the windows. This warm spell I will say I am getting spoiled off of. I got a lot done. I worked out, studied, cleaned the house, baked a cake for a friends birthday, did laundry, folded and put said laundry away, and I managed to start my thank you notes for those who were kind of enough to send me a Christmas gift. All was well, including the birthday dinner I had for a friend. Dinner was excellent, the cake was yummy. All was perfect until Husband started to get into one of his moods. Deep down I knew something was bothering him and that something was me. I started to wrack my brain but everything had been perfect today. I was even outside on the porch enjoying the evening as I studied when he came home. Finally when I was kissing him goodnight I asked him yet again what was wrong and he started in. I guess I made the mistake of asking him what he wanted for his birthday and he said he wanted a night with me. I said, “you always have that silly though from what your schedule looks like you probably wont be home for your birthday…come on now what do you want for your birthday?” I guess that upset him. I feel as if I can never do anything right. I feel like I am always walking on egg shells with him. I am trying so hard to “fix” myself that it’s just gotten to the point I say nothing to him because he just rolls his eyes and mumbles, “your always sick” or “you are never well” or “you say you are trying but I don’t see any progress”. I feel like crying so hard but I have no more tears to cry though I am sure I can eventually conger them up. Part of me is angry at myself for just going along and saying yes to keep the peace and the other half of me is upset I don’t tell him exactly what is on my mind. Pick and choose our battles I suppose. I guess I defused this one before it could turn into a screaming fest….~sighs~I hope all of you are well!  ~Bright Blessings~Rea